I Wouldn't Stop for Red Lights
by PinkPenguin18
Summary: In the backdrop of the President's condition going public, Josh deals with recurring problems of his own. But does the distraction end up costing more than anyone can imagine? Plese R&R!
1. Act 1 Part 1

**A/N Welcome! This is my first entry into the West Wing fanfic universe. Hope you like! Do let me know what you think.**

**Takes place post-Noel, pre-17 people. It won't really follow the timeline of the rest of series 2, so assume it's pretty AU post-Noel!**

* * *

**_Act 1 - Perspectives and Priorities_**

"I'm just saying, I don't think he should be able to blackmail the President's office like this!"

"Josh…"

"Seriously Toby, we need to stop letting this bunch of over enthusiastic, careerist senators from our own party breathe down our necks like this. They know talk of re-election is coming and I don't want them to begin to form an opposition to President Bartlet right under out noses!"

Josh stopped at the door to his office, leaning on the door frame. He ran one hand through his hair and watched as Toby Zeigler bit the inside of his lip and let his eyes wander.

"You think there will be a formal opposition?" Toby finally asked quietly.

"…I just think that we have a legislative agenda to-"

"Josh."

"I don't know, Toby!" Josh placed one hand on his forehead, "It's just…I've been hearing things and-"

"Hoynes."

"What?"

"It's Hoynes, isn't it?"

"Yeah…" Josh sighed, allowing his hand to smack off his leg as he let it drop back to his side. Toby narrowed his eyes slightly.

"You meet with Senator Crunden and try and secure a few more votes, just to make sure the bill is safe. I'll go see Hoynes. Then we take this to Leo," Toby replied monotonously, "Keep things quiet with CJ. I'll see if Sam has heard anything. This stays away from the President, Josh."

"I've got it, Toby!" Josh reassured him, stepping into his office.

Toby strolled slowly across the bullpen to his own office, turning his head absent-mindedly to spot Sam scratching his head over the latest Presidential address. He let himself fall onto his desk chair and picked up the pink rubber ball that lay on top of his papers for the day.

Clearing his throat, and ignoring the call of 'Donna!' coming from Josh's office, Toby flung the ball at the glass window that partitioned Sam's office from his own. It bounced back into his hands before he did it again. And again. And again.

"What!?" Sam asked incredulously as he stepped into Toby's office.

"4 bounces."

"What?"

"It took you 4 bounces to respond, Sam," Toby mumbled. He didn't flinch when Sam only waved his arms in response.

"What's the deal, Toby?" He asked.

"We have a problem, close the door."

* * *

"Not this again, Donna…"

"Coca Cola contains 16 sugar lumps a bottle, Josh. It's not good for your teeth, your calorie intake or your blood sugar levels."

"Why thanks, Doctor Moss!" Josh took another sip from his Coke bottle before holding it up in a mock-toast, "If you hadn't told me the dangers of sugar, who knows where my life will have ended up?"

"Don't mock me Josh," Donna replied with a straight face, "The after effects of too much sugar in your later years will really hit you. Then you'll realise you should have listened to me."

"Whatever. Is Toby back?" Josh waved her persistence away with another sip from the bottle.

"He's in his office," a scowling Donna replied, before shouting after him across the bullpen, "Diet Coke is a much better alternative!"

Josh turned round and walked backwards, holding his arms out beside him, knocking a couple of files over in the process.

"But we all know it tastes like crap, Donna!"

* * *

"Polls? He's conducting his own polls?" Josh threw his plastic bottle across Toby's office towards the bin, wincing when it rebounded off the side of it and dropped to the floor.

"Yes," was Toby's quick reply, "and he wanted me to know. Otherwise he wouldn't have said anything."

"So…" Sam crinkled his forehead as he picked up Josh's bottle and placed it in the bin, "We are saying that he looks to be forming an official challenge to President Bartlet?"

"Yes."

"Toby…"

"Josh, this is exactly what we have to assume. He attacked the oil industry for price-gouging today!" Toby raised his voice slightly, "Hoynes is plotting to usurp the President."

"Who's plotting to usurp the President?"

Josh and Sam jumped as the door to Toby's office opened suddenly. Toby looked away as Leo McGarry entered the room.

"Leo!" Josh exclaimed, sitting up straight a little too quickly, causing his vision to blur, "Don't do that!" He continued angrily.

Leo looked at him, plain-faced, for a second, before turning back to Toby.

"Who's plotting to usurp the President?"

Both Sam and Josh looked back and forth between Leo and Toby, Sam opening his mouth on a number of occasions as if to interrupt. Josh rubbed his eyes briefly, trying to shake off the sudden dizziness.

"Hoynes," Toby eventually replied, meeting Leo's gaze. Josh's head dropped and Sam grimaced, waiting for Leo's reaction.

"Hoynes?" Leo's jaw set slightly.

"Uhh… I think we better take this to your office, Leo," Josh suggested, finally breaking the eye contact between Toby and Leo.

* * *

It was late. Too late for any mere mortal. Josh bitterly laughed to himself as he strolled back to his office at 2.30 a.m. He, Sam and Toby had only just finished explaining what they suspected to Leo. As expected, Leo played down any moves Hoynes may have been trying to pull, but Josh noticed he was very rugged in his defence of the Vice-President. Not entirely like Leo, he noted. Everyone knew Hoynes was envious of President Bartlet's position, even Leo. In fact, Leo was always the one to pull him back down in the pecking order whenever he stepped off the party line.

Josh shook his head as he stepped back into his office, striding round the door and leaning, back to the wall, as he did so often. His doctor had told him to do it after Christmas. Stress-relief, supposedly. Josh thought it had become more of a habit than anything else.

It had been two months since Christmas. Two months since he'd put his hand through the window. Two months since Leo's 'man falling into a hole' speech.

Josh hated the truth. The real truth. The truth that every time he heard music he heard gunshots. That every time the shooting was recalled he began to sweat. The truth that he would wake up in the middle of the night with a dull ache where his scar was. The truth that the name and number of the therapist he had been given in the new year was still lying, untouched, in the second drawer of his desk.

He sighed briefly, laying his head back on the wall. He used to hate being in work until this late. Nowadays it was a relief. He struggled to sleep anyway. It felt easier for him to stay in the office and work. If he fell asleep at his desk, he was fine with it. He just hoped his sleep would be uninterrupted.

Josh really did hate himself for it. He hated that he still refused to get the help the psychologist managed to convince him he needed. He figured at first that after Christmas, he didn't need to talk to anyone else, that he knew what was wrong with him and so would be able to deal with it. Deep down, knowing he had a problem scared him. Having to talk to someone about it and deal with it scared him more. He didn't want it to affect his job, nor those that worked around him.

Then again, he knew he was making a mistake. The nightmares told him enough. He just didn't know what he wanted to do about it.

"Josh."

Josh jumped and opened his eyes. Leo was peering around the door at him, straight faced as usual.

"Leo."

"You're still here," Leo commented.

"So are you," came Josh's reply as he strolled back over to his desk, leaning on the front of it. Leo's eyes narrowed as he watched his deputy.

"Sam and Toby have just gone. I'll go and brush things over with Hoynes tomorrow, just to make sure," Leo reiterated what was said at the end of the meeting.

"Uh-huh," Josh nodded, smiling slightly, well aware of his boss's piercing gaze.

"Are you okay, Josh?" Leo asked suddenly.

"What? Yeah of course I am!" Josh replied quickly, with a smile, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I mean are you _okay_, Josh?" Leo emphasised.

"Leo…"

"I'm going to keep asking you. These things take a while."

"I'm fine, Leo," Josh insisted.

"Right. Good," Leo smiled and patted the side of Josh's arm quickly, "I'm out of here. Should be able to catch 3 hours sleep if I'm lucky. I'll see you in the morning, alright?"

Leo closed the door shut quietly behind him.

Josh bit the inside of his lip and grasped the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. He tried to resist admonishing himself, remembering that something big was going to go down with Hoynes, no matter what Leo said. He sighed loudly before heading round to his desk chair and opening the folder on the top of the small mountain Donna managed to not organise.

Josh hated the truth.

The real truth.

The truth that everyday he lied to Leo McGarry. And the truth that everyday it killed him.

**Bit of a short chapter to start with, but they'll get longer. Please let me know what you think!**


	2. Act 1 Part 2

"Margaret!"

Leo called out a little quieter than normal at his personal assistant. It was 6.30a.m, and as far as he knew, there were hardly any people around the West Wing. There wouldn't be for at least another half an hour.

"Why do you drop the volume of your shout just because it's early?" Margaret asked, pouting as she handed him a file.

"Natural reaction," Leo replied, "What time are we expecting Toby?"

"Before seven."

"I want to see him before Senior Staff," Leo pulled his glasses from his jacket pocket and, with a flick of his wrist, opened them up.

He made a sharp turn away from his assistant and began his early morning stroll through the Communications bullpen. Letting his gaze lift from the file for a second, he glanced around the deserted room as he always did, checking to see if anyone had arrived before he did. The light from Josh's study confirmed that someone had. Again.

"Josh?"

"Mhmmm?" Josh made a noise as he jerked his head up from the folder on his desk. Leo raised an eyebrow, taking note of the bags beneath his deputy's eyes and his crinkled forehead.

"You stay here all night again?" Leo asked.

"Yeah…" Josh breathed, blinking quickly.

"Did you get some sleep?"

"A bit," Josh lied. Leo allowed his eyebrow to drop, knowing his deputy wasn't being totally truthful with him. Despite knowing that there was no-else in the bullpen bar CJ, who had just slouched through with a yawn, Leo closed the door.

"When's your next appointment with the thing?" He asked quietly.

"The thing?" Josh replied, sitting back in his chair and staring at the ceiling.

"Josh…"

"No, Leo," Josh raised both hands to his forehead as he let his gaze drop back down to his boss, "Listen to me, we've been through this. I've got it covered."

"When is it?" Leo persisted.

"This afternoon. 1p.m I think. I have to pick up my prescription afterwards," Josh let his hands drop to the desk with a thud as he reluctantly answered Leo's question.

"Painkillers?"

Josh nodded, "The ones the First Lady prescribed."

"You still taking your anti-depressants?"

"Leo…"

"This guy's walking down a street when he falls into a hole-"

"Leo, please."

"The walls are so steep he can't get out-"

"I'm still taking them, Leo," Josh sighed loudly.

"Good," Leo smiled, "You don't want to hear the rest of the story?"

"Get out, Leo."

"Senior Staff in 45 minutes."

"Bye!" Josh mock waved as Leo turned to leave. He closed his eyes and brought his hands to his face.

"Donnaaaaa!!!"

"She's not here yet," Leo said has he pulled the door shut behind him. Josh let his head smack off the desk as he let it drop.

* * *

"Margaret!"

Leo called his assistant as he walked straight past her and into his office.

"Why would you call me if I'm right there?" She complained as she stumbled in behind him.

"Because I want to talk to you _in here_," Leo motioned with his arms and Margaret shut the door.

"What is it?"

"Is Toby here yet?" Leo strolled round his desk and flicked through top file. He took a sip of the coffee that was on his desk. It was stone cold. Leo scowled, "Is this coffee old?"

"Last night's," Margaret answered with a straight face. Leo, looking offended, pushed it away from him as he sat in his chair, "Toby's not here yet."

"Fine," Leo put the folder down, "Donna Moss in yet?"

"No, but she's normally in before 7."

"Tell her I want to see her," Leo asked, "and do it without Josh knowing."

"…Alright."

"And get me new coffee."

* * *

Another lie.

Josh rubbed his eyes roughly. He wasn't tired. That didn't bother him.

Lying to Leo again bothered him.

He didn't have an appointment with 'the thing' - the therapist. He made up times and gave them to Donna to put in the schedule to take Leo off his case. Josh didn't underestimate Leo, he knew his boss would be watching him.

"Dammit…" He stood and strolled over to the cupboard-come-wardrobe that stood in the corner of his office. He opened it and pulled out a new blue shirt and tie combination.

It was one of those lies that gets worse and worse to bail on as time goes on. He just wish he could explain to Leo that he hadn't phoned the therapist. He hadn't redeemed his anti-depressant prescription. All he was taking were the painkillers that, Josh admitted, were brilliant. He threw the clean shirt and tie on the desk as he began to unbutton his shirt.

It's just the more you lie about something, the harder it is to back-pedal. Leo wouldn't be happy with him when he found out he'd lied. Hell, he'd be livid.

"Gotta sort this today…" Josh mumbled to himself as Donna burst through the door, two cups of coffee in her hands. Josh froze as Donna blushed.

"Uh…" Donna brought her gaze up from Josh's partially bare chest to his face, "I brought you coffee."

"Thanks," Josh replied. Donna placed it on the desk as Margaret opened the door behind her.

"What's with everyone bursting into my office today?" Josh asked, hands still on his buttons.

"Morning, Josh!" Margaret greeted, totally unfazed by Josh and Donna's awkward-ness, "Message from Leo, Donna."

Donna slowly took the note from Margaret, read it, and followed her out of the door, shutting it behind her.

Josh continued to unbutton his shirt, "I _really_ have to sort this today."

He'd decided. He was going to come back from his 'appointment' and tell Leo and the others that he needed no more treatment. It was dangerous; it's not easy to dress a lie up with another lie, but it was worth the risk. If Leo followed it up, he'd find out he hadn't been going to a therapist at all. Josh could deal with that.

As long as he didn't have to see Leo's face when he found out.

* * *

"Donna, come in."

Donna stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. She stepped over and stood in front of Leo's desk, hands held in front of her while he stacked a couple of files.

"Has Josh got an appointment with the thing today?" He asked, not looking up.

"The thing?" Donna replied. Leo just adjusted his glasses and failed to answer, "I think so… 1p.m if I remember rightly. He makes the appointments for himself, he wants me to stay out of it."

Leo made a small noise of understanding.

"I mean, I respect that he wants us to stay away. It must be pretty difficult. I don't want to make it worse and-"

"I want you to tail him, Donna."

"-I think it's best if we let Josh get on with…" she trailed off, "You want me to do what?"

"I want you to tail him," Leo placed the file on his desk and pulled his glasses off, meeting her gaze.

"Tail him?"

"Tail him."

"Don't you think… I mean…" Donna stumbled over her words slightly, "Why?"

"I just want to know if it goes alright, that's all."

"You could just ask him."

"Donna…"

"You don't think he's going to his appointments, do you?" She realised.

"No, I don't, and I need to find out," Leo confirmed, "I'm asking you to do this for me not because I value your covert skills, because needless to say I have absolutely no confidence in you keeping this a secret, nor am I confident in your ability to be subtle in anything you do. I'm asking you to do this because you surely understand the need to do this. This is Josh."

"I'm not sure-"

"If you don't want to do it…" Leo put his glasses back on, "I'll send the FBI."

"Fine," Donna agreed, grimacing slightly, "I'll do it."

"Make sure he doesn't see you. Make sure he gets his prescription."

"How can I make sure he gets his prescription without him seeing me?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

* * *

"Leo, is something going on?"

"Just stay away from Hoynes, Toby," Leo sighed lightly, opening the door to the Chief of Communications. This was the second time since their meeting early this morning that Toby had come to Leo asking questions about Hoynes. Toby was suspicious, and had every right to be. Leo suspected the President may need to become involved, even if that meant telling Toby about the MS.

"I'll be in my office," Toby said with a sulk as he left the room.

Leo mumbled something in reply, noticing Josh semi-sprinting across the bullpen, pulling his jacket on. Leo checked his watch - 12.50p.m. The Chief of Staff then grimaced as he watched Donna walk after him, looking left and right in the most suspicious way possible.

"God help me…" Leo turned to his assistant, "Tell Charlie I want to see the President asap. Tell him it's important."

"Got it."

* * *

Josh scowled as he stepped out the Pharmacy, super-duper-strong painkillers clutched in his hand. He squinted as the wind brushed across his face, turning slightly to stop the it stinging his eyes. It was a typically chilling February day in Washington D.C. Josh was just glad he managed to escape the snow.

Stuffing the prescription into his coat pocket, he wrapped his arms around himself and disappeared into the crowd heading for Pennsylvania Avenue. He'd been walking around for nearly two hours now, the cold was really starting to get to him. Every step he took he felt guilty, yet Josh couldn't face the alternatives that faced him.

_Actually_ going to see the therapist.

Or the look on Leo's face when he disclosed the truth.

He probably preferred the first one.

Quickening his stride, Josh decided enough was enough and that it was time he headed back to work. He mentally listed what he needed to do when he got back; see Leo and tell him that he wouldn't need any more appointments with the therapist, ditto Donna, ditto Sam, check in on Toby and the Hoynes situation and check the Mets' off-season signing news.

"They better have re-signed Reyes by now…" he mumbled to himself.

* * *

Rubbing her hands, Donna pushed past another scowling couple to keep Josh in her sights. She'd been up to this for nearly two hours and was now more angry with Josh for not calling it quits and heading back to the office than she was when she realised he wasn't keeping to his appointment.

Donna thought she'd rather see a therapist and talk about the worst night of her life for two hours than walk around alone in the freezing February air.

Leo wasn't going to be happy. Donna didn't know if this was the first time Josh had lied about an appointment, or whether he had never actually been to one. She felt guilty that it would be her to leak his little secret, but her guilt was outweighed by her anger at him for not telling her he didn't want to go.

She could understand if he didn't. Really, she could. It's not a pleasant experience and, Josh being Josh, he probably decided he didn't need anyone's help.

But why lie to Leo?

She made a mental note that he was only carrying one prescription box out of the pharmacy with him. That would be either the anti-depressants or the painkillers. Donna bet on the painkillers.

After treading on someone else's toes in her black work shoes and muttering a quiet apology, she wondered why so many people were out in this cold. Were they tailing friends too?

Over the hustle and bustle of Pennsylvania Avenue, Donna didn't notice the sound of sirens coming from behind her.

* * *

Josh froze.

Just stopped dead.

He heard the sirens. Nobody else would have. It was too busy. But he heard them.

They were a common occurrence in the city. Especially this part of town.

But Josh heard them every time. Every time.

He crinkled his nose and grimaced, leaning with his back to the nearest lamp post like he did in his office. People walked past him without a second thought. He was just another person in the way.

The sirens went on for what seemed like forever. Nothing happened at first, but Josh had got into the habit of bracing himself for what sure was to come. Perhaps it was an attempt to stop it happening at all; perhaps by making his mind aware of it, he could stop it. Perhaps, however, by remembering what sirens triggered exacerbated the problem and highlighted it more than ever.

He began breathing deeply like he always did.

Everything slowed down. Josh stopped hearing the sound of people. He just heard the sirens. Forever the sirens. Still, he tried to remain in control.

Until…

"Here we go…"

Breathing in sharply, Josh rested his hand on the dull ache that resided from his chest, right above his bullet scar. He gritted his teeth as the sirens rang round in his head. Noise was growing again now. People were shouting. Screaming. Shots were being fired.

Clutching a bundle of fabric from his jacket, Josh fought off the urge to scream. It felt the same as the Yo-Yo Ma performance, only twenty times more painful. Tears stung his eyes as he nearly bit the inside of his lip to shreds. His mind urged it to stop, but he had lost total control.

"_Josh… didn't you hear me shouting for you? You know where the hell you've-"_

…

…

…

…

"_I need a… I need a doctor!"_

The footsteps of the people around him echoed in his head, like a heartbeat. Josh remembered every second, even though he felt like he shouldn't. Toby's face. His shout. The stinging so unbearable as to even put into words; the same stinging that returned every time he relived this moment.

And the threatening purple haze that rained down on his vision as he slowly felt more and more dizzy.

"Josh!"

A strong grip grasped his shoulders and pulled him up straight. In a moment, he was brought back to reality. The deafening incomprehensible sound of the Washington traffic echoed around him again. The stinging cold surrounded him.

The sirens had stopped.

"Josh!" Josh blinked rapidly and looked down at the person in front of him, forehead crinkling in confusion, "God, Josh, are you alright?"

"D…Donna?" Josh asked in surprise, yanking himself out of her grip when he realised it was really her. He began to walk backwards slowly, face contorted in shock and confusion, "What are you…?"

"Josh, please…" Donna held out her hand. Josh's gaze dropped and he turned back towards the White House.

Without a second though, Josh Lyman ran.

He pushed through the crowds, ignoring the complaints of those he pushed and ignoring the quiet call of his name behind him.

He just ran.

Past the entrance to the West Wing.

Past the White House itself.

Josh ran for about 10 blocks, his legs beginning to burn, his vision burning.

And the dull ache radiating from his chest as it did continuously.

Slowing to a stop, Josh leaned against the wall nearest to him. Without so much as a thought he pulled the prescription box out of his pocked at opened it, popping two of the painkillers into his hand.

Scowling at them as if they were enemies, Josh threw them into his mouth and forced himself to swallow.


	3. Act 1 Part 3

**A/N Thanks to my reviewers! I can't get enough of this story so I seem to updating fairly often! I'll slow it down pretty much from now due to exams etc, but stick with me and let me know how it's going!**

**I also hereby apologise for my British-ness. I can't help it! Crisps, I think, are what Americans call Chips. Like the ones you get in the plastic packets. Sorry if I'm not clear enough! :D**

**Similarly, I apologise if Walkers crisps do in fact distribute to America. I must say I've never seen a packet of Wotsits on the shelves when I've been over there!**

* * *

"Ew… What is that smell?"

"That smell, Bonnie, is the wonderful cheesy aroma of British snacks," Sam declared eloquently, clutching his crisp packet in his two hands, his writing folder braced tightly between his upper arm and his torso.

"British snacks?" Bonnie replied incredulously, "Why do you have British snacks?"

"The joys of having a cousin studying at King's College London, Bonnie," Sam grinned, "She sends me all sorts of wonderful foods when she needs help on her assignments. This time she sent me examples of the great Walkers food brand."

"Walkers?"

"Walkers," Sam replied, "These wonderful specimens…" he reached into the packet, "…are called 'Wotsits'. They are a delightful cheese puff."

"You can get cheese puff things here," came the straight reply.

"Ah! But are they called 'Wotsits'?"

"Don't you have work to be getting on with?"

"Most probably…" Sam pondered, munching on a Wotsit, "Welcome back, Josh!"

"Uh.. Hi, Sam," Josh pushed past his friend quickly, flashing a terribly fake smile, "Seen Donna?"

"I think she just got in…" Sam replied, standing on his tip-toes and glancing round the bullpen, "Yep, there she is."

Josh looked over to where Sam was pointing and nodded briskly, placing a hand on Sam's arm in thanks. Josh was feeling more than a little bit self-conscious at this present moment, and he brushed his sleeve across his forehead quickly as his brain whirred.

He shouldn't have run so far. He should have just beaten Donna to the White House. Then he could have got to Leo first. What if Donna had already said something? Maybe he should have just gone home?

Josh mentally shook his head. No, he had to stick to his guns. He needed to act like nothing had happened and catch Leo later that day to straighten things out.

Ah well, at least the pain in his side had dimmed to a minor ache.

"Donna!" He called over the bullpen, waving her over. She looked up with a stern gaze and slowly walked over, unceremoniously throwing the file she was looking at onto her desk.

"Yes?" She asked with a pout.

Josh walked into his office, Donna following.

"Can you get in contact with the Justice department about the tobacco suit please? I'll need to see a representative about the numbers."

Josh hadn't even got all the way round his desk before Donna shut the door.

"Donna, did you hear me?"

"What the hell, Josh!?" Donna practically shouted, freezing her boss in his tracks, "Just… what the hell?"

"Donna… you have to listen-"

"No, you listen to me!" She stepped forward, closing the space down between them. Josh noticed her cheeks flooding with frustration as he crinkled his features, "You were supposed to get this all sorted! On your own!"

"I have been getting it sorted-"

"Well, I'm sure if you asked a couple of passers-by on Pennsylvania Avenue this morning they would beg to differ-"

"That happens a lot if I've just been to a session… and anyway it's none of your business!"

"Don't give me that BS, Joshua, you didn't go to the appointment!"

"You were following me?!" Josh held his arms out beside him in protest. He let them drop as he turned his back to Donna, placing one hand on his forehead.

Donna didn't answer. She felt the lump rising in her throat but willed herself not to let it take over her. She wanted to be more angry at him than worried by the Josh she saw before her.

Josh turned back to her, closing his eyes and motioning with his hand in disbelief.

"What the hell did you think would come of following me? Did you do it by yourself? Or was this an office-wide 'see how long Josh takes to notice us' game?" his voice was rising in volume. Donna kept her gaze firm as she let him rant, "Did you take it in turns to follow me? Are you all having a good laugh at my expense? Was this Leo? I bet it was Leo…"

"Josh…"

"DAMMIT, DONNA!"

Josh flipped and flung the nearest set of folders across the room into the bookcase, causing some of its contents to drop to the floor. Donna flinched and closed her eyes as Josh placed one hand over his. He turned and leaned against the desk, breathing heavily.

"Donna… I-"

"I think you need to straighten this out with Leo," Donna replied. Josh noted the small break in her voice, "He deserves to know."

She turned and left, letting the door slam shut behind her.

* * *

Sam munched away at his Wotsits, staring at the door to Josh's office. He couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but he was positive that most of the bullpen heard the commotion from within.

Sam stepped aside as someone pushed past him. It was Toby. Without so much as an acknowledgement that Sam was there, the Chief of Communications stalked towards his office.

"Hey Toby, there's something going on between Josh…"

Toby's office door slammed and the blinds came down with a thud.

"…and Donna. Hmmm…" Sam made a noise as he tried to read Toby, as futile as that action may be. Instead, he stepped to the side as someone else pushed past him.

"There's no point trying to talk to Toby right now…" Leo told him quietly. Sam knew better than to ask why judging by the look on Leo's face, "And you really shouldn't be stood in the middle of the bullpen like this eating… what the hell are they?"

"They're Wotsits, from England!" Sam replied with a smile, brandishing the packet.

"Whatever. Where's Josh?"

Both Sam and Leo looked up at Josh's office door just as Donna came stalking out of it. Sam flinched as the door slammed shut. Leo sighed.

"Right…" He looked back at a very confused Sam, "Go to your office. Don't leave tonight until you've seen the President. He wants to talk to you all, got it?"

"Mm-hm" Sam nodded, mouth full of crisps.

* * *

"Donna?"

Leo stepped quietly over to Josh's assistant, who was rigorously rummaging through the files on her desk, face red.

"Donna, what happened?"

"He didn't go, Leo," she replied, standing up and beginning to move past him. Leo grabbed her arm lightly as she did so.

"Come to my office. Let's talk about it," he requested quietly.

"No," she shook her head, "He didn't go to the appointment. He only came out of the pharmacy with one prescription box. There were sirens and he…" she sighed, closed her eyes and clutched the bridge of her nose in frustration, "Look, he doesn't want to talk to me about it. You need to straighten it out with him. Quite frankly, I feel terrible. Terrible for following him. And terrible for what I saw on Pennsylvania Avenue."

"What did you see on Pennsylvania Avenue?"

"You'll have to ask him yourself."

Leo's jaw set, "Alright, Donna…Thanks for doing it. Listen, make sure you hang around for a little longer tonight. The President wants to see all the senior assistants before you all go home."

"Is something going on, Leo?" She asked.

"Yeah…" Leo breathed in reply, stepping towards Josh's office door and entering without the courtesy of a knock.

* * *

"Josh."

"Josh!"

Leo raised his voice in frustration as he leant on the front of his deputy's desk. He'd stepped into the office and was initially taken aback by half the contents of both Josh's desk and bookshelf strewn all over the floor. His eyes were then drawn to the crumpled box of painkillers on the desk and the owner of said painkillers who was sat with his head on the tabletop.

"Joshua!"

Slowly, Josh's hands were brought up onto the desk. He flattened his palms on the wood and lifted his head in one movement, allowing his whole body to sink back into his desk chair and his unfocused gaze to meet Leo's.

Leo just about forced himself not to flinch when he saw Josh's bloodshot eyes. He noted the moisture surrounding them and the trail of a silent tear that had been left on his cheek.

"God, Josh…" Leo pulled one of the visitor's chairs towards him and sat in front of the desk, "What happened?"

"I…I think I shouted at Donna," Josh whispered, eyes still wide and expression still blank in stunned disbelief.

"I know you shouted at Donna," Leo tried to keep his voice firm, "What else happened?"

"Um…"

"Josh," Leo warned.

"I didn't go to my appointment."

"Did you even have an appointment?"

"…Yes"

"Josh!"

"No, I didn't, Leo!" Josh put his head in his hands, "Look, I don't want to talk about this right now. There's a lot of stuff going on down at the DOJ, we have to get through all this crap with Hoynes-"

"That reminds me, the President needs to see everyone this afternoon. I was actually on my way to come and get you," Leo interrupted.

Josh laughed in disbelief and wiped his eyes with his jacket sleeve. He turned his head towards the pile on the floor and vocally groaned.

"Take a couple of hours. Go take a walk or whatever it is you do. I'll ask Donna and some others to clear that up for you before you get back," Leo said in response, "I'll get Sam and CJ to go and see the President now, you can go later."

"It's alright, Leo," Josh pushed himself to his feet, Leo following suit, "I really should be clearing this up myself. I'd appreciate not having to see the President right this minute, though."

"Fine."

Josh wiped his eyes again and crouched over by the piles of folders, papers and books. He began to gather them all into a small mountain in front of him. Leo almost cocked a smile at the rather random way of organising such a mess. On his way out of the office, Leo turned back to his deputy.

"Josh."

"Mmm?"

"We are going to talk about this later." Leo ensured. He stepped out without reply.

* * *

"_We are going to talk about this later."_

Josh mentally cursed as he ditched his mountain-method of sorting the mess in favour of chucking any books into a little pile to his left, papers in front of him and folders to his right.

"This is going to take forever…"

Josh stopped what he was doing for a second and fell back from his crouching position to sit on the floor. He leant against the nearest armchair and stared at the small mountain before him. Leo had left the door open; many of the assistants, curious as to what the commotion was, took a sneaky glance into the dark office as they walked past. Josh noticed the pink sweater of Donna Moss.

"Donna!" He called. She stepped into the doorway and leant on the frame. Josh noticed her deep red cheeks and firmly set jaw.

"Yes?"

"Look, I'm sorry," Josh covered his eyes again, "I…I wasn't thinking straight. We'll talk about this tomorrow, alright?"

"Fine. Is there anything you need?" Josh shook his head and Donna left without another word.

Trying not to break some of the more flimsy books in the Lyman-mountain, Josh felt a familiar headache pound behind his left eye. He was glad he apologised to Donna, although he regretted offering to 'talk about it' the next day, perhaps that wasn't the best idea.

It wasn't the only thing he wasn't sure about, however.

Continuing to throw books and files into mini-mountains, Josh tried to remember exactly what Donna had said, and exactly what he shouted, or rather threw, in reply. Throwing the last book with such force so as to dislodge all the others, Josh pounded the wooden floor of his office with frustration.

"Not again…"

This wasn't the first time he couldn't remember what had happened 5 minutes before.

* * *

"Sam."

Sam looked up just as he was ripping into a packet of Quavers from the big pile of Walkers crisps he had been sent.

"Leo?"

"Yeah, listen," Leo stepped into the office, "I've got to warn you, something big has come up with the President. He wants to see all senior staff members and top level assistants before the end of the day."

"Okay… am I next?"

"Yeah."

"Right," Sam slid his chair back and began to walk towards the door.

"Leave the Wotsits," Leo demanded.

"These are Quavers."

"Whatever."

Throwing the open Quavers packet back onto his desk and flinching when some of the crisps fell out all over his latest speech draft, Sam stepped out into the bullpen, mind racing.

"What's going on with Josh?" Sam asked, taking a quick glance at his best friend's office, noticing its owner fiddling with files while sat on the floor.

"Don't worry about it."

As he headed towards Leo's office and the Oval, Sam was startled by the small pink ball that hurtled into the door of Toby's office. Sam knew that was a signal to him that Toby wanted his attention. After a brief nod from Leo, Sam opened the door and poked his head round it.

"Yeah, Toby?"

"I'll be here in my office when you're done."

* * *

**A/N Three chapters in three days! Racing through it! Please review :D**


	4. Act 1 Part 4

**A/N Shorter chapter today. Act 2 starts next chapter! Before it sounds like I was being lazy, the 'abrupt' writing style is intentional for this chapter. I hope it works! Please review :D**

* * *

Leo rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. It was getting way too late right now. Way too late. CJ and Sam were done with the President, CJ went straight home and Sam ended up making a beeline for Toby's office. Leo absent-mindedly glanced through the window to see Sam lying on his back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, and Toby bouncing his pink rubber ball repeatedly off the wall.

Passing through the Communications bullpen and round towards Josh's office, Leo watched the senior assistants mill around with papers while they waited to see the President. Ginger was organising some files on a shelf while Bonnie looked to be playing Tetris on the internet. Leo sighed. It was going to be at least another hour before they got in with the President.

Donna was sat on her desk outside Josh's office, palm supporting her head. She was doodling what looked to be a picture of Snoopy on the corner of some official looking stationary. Leo, feeling charitable, decided to let the abuse of taxpayer's stationary go given the circumstances.

Again, without knocking, the Chief of Staff pushed open the door to Josh's office and stepped inside.

His deputy was sat on the floor with his back to one of the visitor's chairs. The mess from earlier had been cleared up and Leo noted the almost pristine condition of his office as opposed to normal. It was almost obsessive. His pens were all lined up parallel to each other on the top of the desk and his files were stacked neatly. He'd even made the effort to hang his rucksack up rather than just leaving it in the middle of the floor.

Josh was sat cross-legged, reading a tattered looking book intently. He looked up, wide-eyed, when Leo entered.

"Leo," he breathed. He snapped the book shut and flashed an embarrassed smile, "Did you know that there is speculation as to whether William Shakespeare even wrote his plays? People think it could have been a pen name. Notable alternative candidates include Sir Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe and Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford."

"Josh? You feeling alright?"

"Yeah…" Josh replied. That was a lie. The book was a welcome distraction. He just wanted to show Leo that.

"President wants to see you."

"What for?"

Leo raised an eyebrow, "I came to see you earlier. I said the President wanted to see everyone before you all leave. Remember?"

"…Uh…" Josh crinkled his forehead, feeling his heart beating faster as a minor panic rose within him, "Oh! Yeah, I remember. You came in after…"

"Yeah," Leo nodded. They certainly needed to talk, but Leo decided it was best for Josh to have the night to sleep on it. God knows he was in for a shock when he spoke to the President, "Let's go. He's waiting."

"Right."

Josh pushed himself to his feet and mumbled a small thanks to Leo, who held the door open for him. He took a quick glance at Donna as he walked by, still trying to remember what exactly it was that she said that bothered him. The familiar sense of panic rose up in him again.

That's twice he's forgotten something important in one day.

* * *

"Donna?"

Donna looked up from her doodle to see Leo standing next to her. He had just taken Josh to the Oval Office. Josh couldn't have been done with the President that quickly, not after how long Sam and especially CJ spent in there. Donna then begrudgingly assumed that Leo was there to talk about the other…thing.

"Leo."

"Come to my office, I want you to talk to me."

Leo turned a left without a word. Donna hesitated, biting the inside of her lip. She really felt like she would be betraying Josh by telling his boss, but she was also worried that she was betraying him by not helping. Leo was going to have to know.

She got up and followed.

* * *

"Hey, Donna," Margaret greeted, not looking up from her nail file. Donna replied with a quiet greeting of her own before following Leo into his office.

"Sit," Leo motioned with his hand and Donna obliged. Leo swung the door shut, dropped his glasses into his jacket pocket and sat the other side of the desk.

"He didn't go to his appointment." It wasn't a question. Donna wasn't surprised with the abruptness. This was Leo after all.

"No, he didn't," Donna felt a guilty pang in her chest and she let her gaze drop to her feet. She could feel Leo's gaze on her, and took a deep breath, "He walked the streets for two hours. Didn't stop to talk to anyone. Just kept walking and walking."

"Did he see you?"

"No," she shook her head, "He was off in his own little world. Like I said, he didn't interact with anyone. Not until he got to the pharmacy."

"Only one set of drugs?"

"Yeah…painkillers I think," Leo nodded his head in agreement; he'd seen the box in Josh's office.

"And then what happened?"

"There were…sirens," Donna looked up. Leo breathed a heavy sigh, letting himself fall back into his chair, "It was like he was in a different world. He leant up against a lamp post and clutched his chest."

"Where he got shot?"

"Yeah. His face all crinkled, probably because of some pain. He went all pale and started to shake. I couldn't take it any more, so I ran over."

"And he saw you?"

Donna scoffed, more because she was upset than sarcastically. Leo let it go.

"I grabbed his arm and jolted him out of it. I don't think he recognised me at first. When he did he turned and bolted. That was about it," Donna shrugged, finishing off the story.

"What happened in his office?" Leo continued to ask questions.

"I asked him about it. He flipped. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry. He kept saying that it was a plot by all of us to get some fun out of him or something…" She sniffed subtly.

"Alright…" Leo pondered a course of action briefly, "I'll have to talk to him. See how willing he is to co-operate. Josh being Josh tells me that it's not going to be easy, though."

"He knows it was you, Leo."

"I know."

* * *

Leo turned the light off in his office as he grabbed his coat. Nobody had taken the news about the President's MS well, Toby in particular. CJ had already gone and Sam left pretty soon after Josh went to the Oval Office. Most of the assistants left straight away too, stony faced and confused.

Toby flipped out at Leo. He threw papers around his office in frustration; the pink ball nearly taking both of their heads off. Leo just stood in silence and let him vent; at least it wasn't happening in front of the President.

Josh locked himself in his office. When Leo managed to coax him out, obvious streaks of tears down his face told a story of their own. It was just a slightly different reaction to Toby's. Josh left soon after, leaving Leo with only one line as he headed for the exit.

"Sometimes things have to be put into perspective to be prioritised, Leo. I serve at the pleasure of the President."

_**End of Act 1**_


	5. Act 2 Part 1

**A/N I hereby apologise for my moving round of some of the plot points for the second series! Also, part of this chapter uses references from the Episode '17 People' in series 2. **

* * *

_**Act 2 - Just a Day**_

"Leo wants to see you."

"Okay…" Josh rubbed his eyes as he threw his jacket towards the coat hook. He moaned in frustration as he bent down to pick it up as it missed, one hand subconsciously gravitating towards his aching rib as he did so.

"Josh," Donna watched from the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"Are you getting any sleep?"

Josh scoffed as he turned his head back to her, "I don't know why you would need to know that, nor how it's any of your business."

"You aren't are you?"

"Donna, please, this is not something you should be asking your boss," Josh clutched the bridge of his nose, "If you want to keep your job I suggest you get out of here."

"Remember Leo wants to see you before Senior Staff."

"Get out, Donna!"

Donna looked at him straight faced before slamming the door behind her.

It had been nearly a week since they had all found out about the President's MS. A plan was in place to go public, but Donna only knew the basic details. Leo had spoken to Josh. Well, you could say spoke to, more like shouted at. Josh didn't take it well and stormed out.

Josh wasn't well. That much was true. His emotions were all over the place. One minute he was trying to throw a desk around, the next he was shaking and trying to hold himself together. Donna had been ordered by Leo to not even try to talk to him about it, that Leo had told Josh that it would be dealt with that Friday; the day after the President went public.

Donna guessed that was probably a compromise. Josh had mentioned something about the President's illness being the most important thing and that any small problems he may be having needed to be declared totally insignificant. He said the President's problem puts his into perspective, and that he hoped everyone else saw that.

Nevertheless, Leo persisted, and Josh was booked in to see Leo at 6a.m Friday morning. It killed Donna to let it wait that long, but then again, they served at the pleasure of the President. This announcement could make or break the coming election. Hell, they didn't even know if he was running yet!

* * *

"Is he here, Margaret?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Josh nodded and stepped slowly into Leo's office, knocking quietly on the door as he did.

"You wanted to see me?"

Leo looked up from his dimly lit desk and took his glasses off. He motioned to the visitor's chair in front of him.

"I did. Sit."

Josh obliged and leant forwards on his elbows, forehead crinkling as he practically looked up through his eyebrows.

"You look like hell," Leo commented.

"Hmm," Josh didn't even bother answering. He recalled hearing something akin to that from Donna around 10 minutes before… something else that seemed hazy to him.

"When do you pick up your next prescription?"

"I'll head over Thursday morning. Early doors."

"Okay…Anyway," Leo narrowed his eyes a little before placing his glasses on his desk, "I want an update."

"An update?"

"An update."

"About Thursday?"

"About Thursday."

"Right…" Josh was a little taken aback at the sudden change of topic, and took a second to gather himself, "We are going to announce it via a recording from the Mural room."

"With or without Abbey?"

"That's still on the table. Myself and Sam think with, but Toby disagrees."

"Alright."

"Then it's off to a press conference."

"Not at the podium?"

Josh shook his head, "We are considering an outside venue. Open it up to more TV, international press etc."

"Right." Leo studied Josh's face for a second. His eyes were dancing around the room, hardly focusing on Leo at all.

Leo knew Donna wasn't happy with his plan. She thought he needed to be dealt with straight away, and Leo agreed. However, given the current political situation with the President, it would be suicide to add this to the equation. It was a conundrum; either Josh suffered at work for the rest of the week until the announcement was done, or he was sent home for the press to catch on to. It killed Leo to do this to Josh, but all he could do right now was keep him focused.

"Leo?"

"Senior Staff in half an hour. I want you and Sam to continue to work on possible locations for the conference as well as maybe work up a final draft for the announcement."

"And Toby?"

"Toby will take your meetings. You can brief him later."

Josh let his head hang. He knew why Leo was sending Toby on his meetings. There was no real point arguing. He stood up to leave, and headed for the door.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Friday. 6a.m. Don't forget."

* * *

"You didn't ask for the Tow Package?"

"No, Charlie."

"And you paid ticket price?"

"Yes, Charlie."

"You got totally played, you know that Mrs. Landingham?" Charlie laughed, scribbling a note down to take to the President, "Hey Josh!"

Charlie raised a hand and called over to Josh as he was strolling past the Oval Office. Josh's whole body turned quickly, his tie whipping round to his shoulder, a confused look on his face.

"You called me, Charlie?"

"I did," Charlie nodded, smiling widely. The President had mentioned Josh was having a bit of a hard time, presumably to do with the PTSD, so he tried to keep things as upbeat as possible, "Wait until you hear about Mrs. Landingham's new car…"

"New car? I hope it's European!" Josh strode over enthusiastically, "Did you get the tow package?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?" Mrs. Landingham complained, raising her arms.

"You didn't?" Josh protested, "But it really increases it's resale…"

Josh trailed off as his eyes wandered towards the Communications bullpen past the Roosevelt Room. He spotted Donna passing Sam a note through his office door and striding away, hair flowing behind her. Part of him knew he had forgotten something, but he didn't know what it was.

"Josh?"

"…value," Josh finished his sentence, "Charlie, do you know the date?"

Charlie didn't answer, instead he pointed directly to the clock on the wall.

"Ah…That's what I forgot." Josh resisted the urge to smack his hand to his forehead in frustration, "Thanks. I gotta run. You should really reconsider the tow package, Mrs. Landingham."

* * *

"Joshua Lyman!"

Josh looked up with a wry grin as the door to his office slammed open. He jumped when it rebounded off the wall.

"Donna…So you're speaking to me again?" He asked sarcastically.

"What are the flowers for?" She demanded.

"It's our anniversary!"

"You thought this job was my second choice…" Donna sat with a thump on the seat in front of Josh's desk.

"Hey, I'm just glad it was your last choice."

"Right, I'm going to tell you what happened, then will you stop being sarcastic to me?" She asked.

Josh shrugged, "I'll think about it."

"That'll have to do…" Donna took a deep breath, "Do you remember when I came back to you guys I had a bandage on my ankle? I told you I slipped?"

"Yeah…"

"I was actually in a car accident."

"What? You serious?"

"Yeah, it was no big deal."

"Okay…"

"Anyway," Donna fidgeted in her seat, "They took me to the hospital and called my boyfriend. On the way to the hospital, he met some friends for a beer."

She hesitated as she spotted the corners of Josh's mouth twitch slightly.

"This isn't funny!"

"I know it's not funny. Stuff like this isn't funny," Josh rubbed his arm, embarrassed, "I just didn't realise people could be that insensitive. It's kinda amusing, that's all."

Donna shot him a look.

"Okay, it's not funny. Carry on."

"He stopped for a beer. So I left him. Simple. You took me back and you had absolutely no reason to trust me."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"You aren't gonna make fun?"

Josh laughed, "There's no need to make fun."

"But you feel superior."

"Of course."

"Yes," she stood and smiled, "you are better than my old boyfriend."

"You know…if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer."

"If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights."

Donna turned and left, a smile plastered all over her features, unknowing that a similarly wide smile was plastered all over Josh's. She was thankful for one moment of normality between the two of them that didn't transcend into an argument or her biting her tongue for fear of saying something that will tip Josh, or Leo for that matter, over the edge. Looks like Josh was having a good day, or good afternoon at least. Who knows what the rest of the week was going to be like? Or even the rest of the day?

"Donna?"

She looked up as she reached her desk. An intern was holding a phone out to her.

"It's Margaret at Leo's office, she says Leo needs to see you and Josh asap."

"Did he say why?"

"Something's happened to Mrs. Landingham…"

**A/N Please review!**


	6. Act 2 Part 2

**A/N Please review!**

* * *

The news stunned the White House.

It broke after the Senior Staff had been informed. The mass workforce found out through an inter-departmental memo sent by Leo that evening. Monday evening. Three days before the President was supposed to go public with his MS.

Josh didn't go home that night. He stayed up late trying to go through Sam and Toby's suggestions for the announcement, checking CJ's notes on how they were going to spin it and using his battered old Harvard Constitutional Law textbook to ensure Oliver Babish knew what he was doing. Josh couldn't help himself, he was a thorough person and wanted to make sure all bases were covered.

He glanced up from his desk into the dimly lit bullpen. Donna had left an hour or so before, she was the last assistant to leave. The West Wing was like a ghost town again, although Josh quite liked it like that.

Sighing, he pocketed his pen and gathered his notes together. He stood and left his office, switching off the table lamp as he walked by.

The heels of his work shoes clicked off the marble floor of the corridors of the West Wing. He glanced to the side periodically, taking a quick look through the many rooms he passed.

Through the doors to the Communications bullpen he spotted Toby waving his arms wildly, a screwed up piece of paper clutched in his fist. Sam was leaning against the bookcase in Toby's office, scribbling something down on his notepad, seemingly ignoring his compatriot's venting entirely. Josh almost laughed at the strange, yet perfect, working relationship the two of them had.

* * *

"I've told you this a thousand times, Sam, he's not apologising!"

Toby could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks as he waved Sam's screwed-up suggestion for the announcement vigorously over his head. Toby continued.

"This is a joke! Why should he have to justify himself when he has a legal team to do just that?"

Sam ignored Toby's venting and frowned as he continued to scribble down some ideas.

"But otherwise what you wrote was good," Toby finished, letting his hands slap down onto his legs.

"Really?" Sam didn't look up.

"No!" Toby practically shouted, hurling the screwed up paper at his deputy. It bounced off Sam's glasses as he was startled out of concentration. Sam shot Toby a mock-hurt look.

"Lucky I'm wearing glasses…"

"Sam, we have to do better!"

"I mean, that could have hit me in the eye…"

"Sam!"

"Alright! What about this?" Sam cleared his throat before beginning to read what he had written, "I regret that-"

"REGRET?!"

Toby took two steps towards Sam, grabbed his notepad and flung it across the room to the opposite wall. Sam stood, stunned, his hands still in the position to hold the absent notepad, his mind attempting to process what had just happened.

Toby turned back towards his desk and put on hand on his hip, the other gravitated to his forehead.

Sam grimaced and ran a hand through his hair as Toby turned slowly back to him.

Pointing over his shoulder through the window to his office, Sam broke the awkward silence.

"I'll go and get another notepad."

* * *

As he walked past Leo's office, Josh noticed Margaret typing away at her computer, the noise resonating through the open doors. Through one he spotted the gaunt face of his boss staring into middle distance, the clicking of his shoes snapping the White House Chief of Staff out of his trance.

"Josh?"

Josh turned characteristically quickly and took a few strides towards Leo's office, stopping in the doorway to lean on the frame.

"How's it going, Leo?"

"Are you the only one still here?" Leo totally ignored the question.

"Toby's with Sam in his office. They must be working on the announcement."

Leo nodded his head in understanding and let his glance drop to his feet.

"Listen, Leo, I just want to say I'm sorry to hear about Mrs. Landingham," Leo's glance shot back up and his eyes met Josh's, "I mean, she was important to all of us, but you and the President knew her for much longer than we did so…"

"Don't you apologise to me, Josh," Leo shook his head, expression tightening slightly.

"I…I just wanted to say that I'm here if you ever want to talk about it."

Leo hesitated, his expression not changing as his eyes bore into Josh's. After a moment, he nodded briefly.

"Thank you," came the reply, "The same goes for you too, you know."

"I'll be alright, I-"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I know."

"Is today a good day?" Leo asked, face softening as his voice dropped to a near-whisper. Josh nearly stumbled at the abrupt question.

"Leo…"

"Well?"

"It started bad…" Josh swallowed, "I think I upset Donna."

"You think?"

"I-"

"Get your ass in here and sit down."

Josh obliged, if only because he knew Leo wasn't exactly emotionally flat at that moment. He knew better than to rile him, and if truth be told, he was glad for the opportunity to talk.

"I keep forgetting things," Josh looked at his feet and gripped his hands tightly together. Leo felt part of his insides churn as Josh spoke; this was exactly the kind of thing he was afraid to hear.

"Like what?"

"If I get angry… I mean, I remember _that _I get angry, I just don't remember _why _or _what_ I say."

"Right," Leo sat back in his chair, "And you got angry at Donna?"

"I think so," Josh shrugged, "All I can recall is that she was asking too many questions. I remember… I remember feeling hot. My mouth dried and my head started to pound. I don't remember what I said after she flipped me over the edge."

Leo didn't want to question Josh too much, so decided to change the thread of conversation slightly. "Has it remained a bad day?"

"Not in the context you are talking about, no," Josh shook his head, "I mean, of course it's been a bad day with Mrs. Landingham and stuff, but-"

"Josh."

"It was mine and Donna's 'anniversary' today."

Leo's eyebrow raised as the corners of his mouth twitched. He gave Josh a questioning look.

"She rejoined the campaign on this date. I bought her flowers. I think…I think she forgave me. So I guess it turned into a good day until…"

Leo nodded in understanding before standing up from the chair. Josh followed suit.

"I'm going to go and see what the President is doing," Josh nodded. He knew Leo needed to check the President was alright, "When are you going home?"

"I'm not tonight," Josh admitted, "I'm gonna go down to the basement and go over some of Sam and Toby's transcri-"

Josh was cut off as he flinched, a hand shooting to his ribcage as the sharp pain shot through him, temporarily paralysing him. Leo's hand shot out to Josh's arm and a look of concern played across his features.

"Josh?"

"It's… It's okay," Josh breathed out heavily, letting his hand drop to his side as the pain dimmed, "I'll go take a painkiller."

"Seriously, Josh…"

"Leo, we can sort this Friday."

"…Fine."

Leo closed the door after Josh and let his head lean against the thick wood. He squeezed his eyes shut as he thought.

Truth be told, he hadn't totally come to terms with the loss of Mrs. Landingham. Not yet. He knew he had to be strong for the President and keep the rest of the staff on task for the MS announcement Thursday. That and the situation with Josh…

Leo gulped. It was worse than he thought. Josh was talking about forgetting things, fighting with Donna, he was in obvious physical pain, what else? Leo just had to make him stop talking. Just stop. That's why he sent Josh away. He wasn't sure he could hear it anymore.

Josh was practically his son. He had known the kid for years upon years. He was there the moment he got accepted into Harvard, for example. Leo would never forget the look of pride on Noah Lyman's face. He also remembered the moment that he and Noah had realised that Josh and Mallory had run away over something meaningless, like kids do. But the memory that haunted him the most was the moment CJ called out to him in the emergency room. She told him Josh was the recipient of a gun shot wound to the chest, and that it wasn't looking good.

A lump had risen in the back of his throat that he quickly swallowed back down. His eyes stung slightly, but that wasn't what bothered him.

What bothered him was the familiar dry-ness of his mouth.

Leo bit his lip as his hands started shaking. He could practically smell the scotch in the Oval Office; his own office was dry. He could hear the clinking of the ice in the glass resonate in his mind and he cool feel the smooth taste in the back of his throat as he took just-the-right-sized sip.

Breathing out heavily, he took steps towards the door to the Oval Office, straightening himself up as he did so. Hand hovering over the brass handle, he hesitated for a second.

Leo McGarry, White House Chief of Staff, was going into the Oval Office to check on the condition of the President of the United States following a deep personal loss.

He was not going for a drink of scotch.


	7. Act 2 Part 3

**A/N Sorry for the delay! Got my A2 levels in the next 2 weeks, so this is just the calm before the storm… won't be able to get the next update until after the 19th****! Gotta get my grades or I won't be going to university! :S **

**Trying something a little different for the first half of this chapter, just because dealing with all these canon points would be dragging things out a bit. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! Sorry if you don't quite understand the format…**

**Please review!**

* * *

"Donna, where's-?"

"Out."

"Leo?"

"Just leave it, Toby. I sent Josh to the Hill for the morning. Come to me if it's something important."

"Right…"

…

…

"When's he expected back?"

"Prescription's ready, he left about 10 minutes ago. He'll be back soon."

"Good."

* * *

"Feeling okay?"

"Leo, I'm fine…"

"Have you seen the announcement?"

"Yeah, it's great. I'll get started on the fall-out when we get back."

"I'll get Toby and Sam on it."

"Leo, I want to-"

"You aren't doing it tomorrow."

"Do we really have to do this now?"

"Leo? Is that Josh I hear?"

"Sir!"

"Good morning, Mr. President."

"Josh, will you be a pallbearer in the service today?"

"Of course, sir."

"No."

"Leo?"

"I'm saying no."

"Leo? What-?"

"You know why."

"It's okay, Josh. He's right. I'll find someone else. We leave in an hour."

"Thank you, Mr. President."

* * *

"Sir?"

"Hmm?"

"The cars are ready."

"Thank you, Charlie…"

* * *

…"_This service is ended. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Please stand for our closing hymn"…_

…

…

…

…

"Josh?… Josh!"

"Hm?! Oh, Donna! Sorry, I must've... I, um-"

"…The service is finished, Josh. It's time to go."

* * *

"He didn't apologise!"

"I know, Sam!" Toby waved his arm horizontally as he stepped across the cold stone floor in the basement. It was an hour or so after the President's announcement and press conference. The world was coming to terms with a President that had seemingly lied to his voters and party, exacerbated by the declaration that he was running in the next election.

Toby and Sam were stood at opposite ends of the room, Sam's tie now well and truly skewed and Toby's forehead glistening with sweat. CJ was sat on the table in the middle of the room, her head flicking from one man to the other as they argued, her forehead crinkled in thought.

The only other resident of the room was Josh. He was sat in the corner on the floor, one knee bent the other leg lying straight out in front of him. Using his knee to prop his elbow up, Josh lay his chin on his palm and stared into the middle distance, already fed up of his compatriots' arguing.

"Should he, though? I mean…"

"We've been through this, Sam!"

"Toby's got a point, Sam." CJ stepped in, "We can't seem weak, not with an election coming."

"But…" Sam stammered, "People are throwing around words like 'impeachment'.

"Nobody's getting impeached."

All four members of the room looked over to the door as Leo stepped in. He closed it slowly behind him.

"Nobody's getting impeached," he repeated, "Babish has got it covered."

Sam grimaced and let himself flop down onto the chair beside CJ, allowing his forehead to fall onto the table with a resounding thump; a visual demonstration of the stress the group had been going through over the last few days. Toby breathed out loudly as he walked past Sam to the opposite end of the table, placing a hand on the small of his back lightly as he walked past.

Leo's eyes wandered as Toby sat down, noting the Head of Communications' small glance down at Josh as he walked by. Leo argued with himself for a second, part of him considering sending Josh home, before just letting it slide.

"Right…" Leo took the last remaining empty seat, "What have we got?"

"How's the President?"

All four seated heads snapped round to the corner of the room as Josh piped up. The Deputy Chief of Staff's gaze didn't withdraw from the middle distance as he spoke.

"He's fine, Josh," Leo replied, "He has Abbey, the girls and Charlie. We have to deal with the fall out."

"Sam thinks he should apologise," Toby piped up. Leo's sharp gaze shot around the table.

"No."

"Why not?" Josh piped up again.

"Josh?"

"Seriously, why not?"

Josh had sat up straight now. His forehead crinkled, shooting a questioning look at those around the table. Toby scoffed as he shook his head.

"Not you too…"

"Come on, Toby, think about it!" Josh stood slowly, grabbing the back of CJ's chair for leverage, "We chuck the apology out of the way, then we can work on college funding and social security! The Republicans will be so swept under by the revelation that they won't have a policy leg to stand on."

"Get real, Josh!" Toby stood to meet his counterpart not, face flooding. Leo's eyebrows raised as he stood slowly too, standing next to Toby. Sam and CJ followed suit, shooting glances to each other periodically.

"You don't think it's going to work?"

This time Toby actually laughed out loud, "I worked on this announcement day and night for a week…"

"Toby.." Leo warned. The warning went unnoticed.

"I don't know what the hell you were doing, but you really need to catch up on the real world if you want to have this discussion with me!"

"Toby!" CJ shot a look of disgust at him, but he wasn't done yet.

"The Republicans don't need a political agenda to win this election. All they need to do is spin this to high heaven, find some high ranking Democrat senators in fringe seats to come out against the President and it's game, set and match! That is if we don't get impeached before that!"

"Nobody's getting impeached!" Leo repeated sternly.

"Now, I know you've been struggling with your thing recently Josh, but you've gotta keep up! We can't have you dragging us back in a time like this!"

Leo's mouth opened to dispute before he shot his gaze back to his Deputy, deciding to stay out of this for a second longer.

Josh wiped a hand over his brow as he stood in stunned disbelief at Toby's outburst. His head was spinning, it had been ever since that infernal organ in the church service. It's just now was the last time he wanted it to spin.

"…If we make the first move they can't politicise it in time. We get an apology in there, speed Babish along with the legal proceedings and this can be brushed over in a month."

Toby just raised his arms in a mock shrug before letting them fall back to his sides noisily, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"The man is ill, Toby!" Josh raised his voice to a near shout now, earning back Toby's attention, "A small dose of flu that goes wrong could kill him. Kill him! Do you understand what that means? We can't let the Republicans politicise it! We apologise now and brush it under the carpet and move on. If that means we go down fighting in the next election then so be it; I'm not allowing the President to be dragged along the floor and stamped on by Republicans and Democrats alike just so we can stand a chance of winning. It's not fair to him."

Josh's vision blurred as he finished shouting and he wobbled slightly on his feet as the room fell back into silence.

Toby shook his head, "Listen to yourself!"

Feeling the pain intensify every second, and no longer wishing to hear Toby's incredulous stubbornness, Josh shook his head back in return.

"You're missing the real point here, Toby."

He walked past CJ and Sam quickly in an attempt to reach the door, accidentally stumbling over CJ's chair as he did so.

"Josh, don't-"

"Sam," Josh's tone was threatening as he straightened himself up, "Please."

"Josh, don't be stupid." This time it was Leo to protest as he stepped slowly around the table. Josh totally ignored it, his head throbbing now. Leo reached out and grabbed his Deputy's elbow as he passed him.

"That's enough, Leo!"

In a split second, Josh ripped his elbow out of Leo's grasp, the strike causing the older man to stumble backwards, only to be caught by Toby before falling. Josh himself stumbled back a few steps as his hand gravitated towards his other elbow.

Leo stood himself back up and brushed himself off, both himself and Josh ignoring the loud objections from the other three in the room. Leo's stomach tightened slightly as he saw the fear in Josh's eyes before his Deputy stalked out of the room, letting the door slam shut behind him.

* * *

Josh could hardly see.

He could hardly think.

He could hardly breathe.

All he knew is that he lashed out at Leo. And he was quite sure he hadn't been in this much pain since the shooting.

After stumbling into his office and shutting the door behind him, Josh fumbled with the draw of his desk to find the prescription box from that morning.

Mercilessly ripping into the packaging, he popped out a white and red capsule tablet, throwing it down his throat and swallowing it easily.

Immaturely, Josh complained to himself that the painkiller wasn't working immediately. Why did he still have a throbbing headache?

Better have another…


	8. Act 2 Part 4

**A/N Nervous about this chapter! 0.0 Please let me know what you think! Oh and warning, minor swears being thrown around in this chapter. **

"The President is in his Office if you need him."

"Thanks, Margaret," Leo nodded briefly as he walked past her into his office. Hesitating in the doorway, he poked his head back round so he could see his Assistant, "Has that OEOB brief come through yet?"

Margaret nodded awkwardly, taking a sip from her coffee, "Mh-Hmm," she swallowed, "Yes. It's on your desk."

"Right."

Leo stepped into his office, letting the door click shut behind him. His office was dimly lit as always, so the Chief of Staff turned on another lamp on his shelf as he strolled towards the window. Feeling a chill down his back, he shut a window abruptly and fell onto the leather chair. He reached into his pocket and pulled his glasses out, sighing audibly as he flicked them open and opened the OEOB file.

Feeling the suicide-inducing wave of dull jargon wash over him, Leo lasted approximately half a page before throwing his glasses on top and picking up the phone.

"Margaret? Can you ring the Sagittarius room and tell Toby I'll be down a little sooner than an hour to read the thing? The OEOB rubbish can wait until morning. Thanks."

Letting the phone drop back with a click, Leo leant back on his chair and ran his hands over his forehead. He'd be glad for the day to be done. For once, he was anticipating the blanket of unconsciousness that came with sleep with some excitement. On the other side lay a Friday with so much to deal with before the weekend they may need more than 24 hours to get it all done. Leo felt his eyelids drooping slightly, feeling heavy, but was jumped back to being alert by Margaret bursting in through the door.

"Leo? Oh!" Margaret grimaced as Leo shot her a glare from across the room, "Were you sleeping?"

"No," Leo replied with some conviction. He sneered slightly at her, "What is it?"

"Well Toby said he and Sam will need more time," she looked left and right before dropping her voice to a whisper, "I think CJ is being a little picky about the wording."

"CJ can't hear you, Margaret."

"I know!" Leo's assistant insisted.

"Anything else?" Leo asked with a sigh as he reached for his television remote and flicked CNN on.

"Yeah… Josh is here."

"Hm? Josh?" Leo turned the television off immediately. Margaret nodded in reply and Leo motioned with his hand, "Send him in."

Truth was that Leo hadn't really reacted to Josh lashing out at him around half an hour before. Toby was raging when Josh had left, CJ trying to calm him down. It seemed to Leo that only he and Sam were getting anything done. He didn't blame Toby, though; only himself and Donna had really been kept up to date with Josh's issue. Leo had already forgotten about what happened in the basement, there's no point dwelling on something Josh has no control over, right?

Standing behind his desk, Leo watched as his Deputy slowly stepped into his office. Leo frowned, Josh was staring straight at the floor, his forehead carrying his characteristic crinkle. Margaret shut the door.

"Josh?"

Josh looked up from where he was stood and stared directly at Leo. The Chief of Staff inclined his head slightly in confusion at Josh's almost vacant expression, his mouth forming a perfect 'o'.

"Everything okay? Why don't you sit?" Leo motioned with his hand and his Deputy sat on the striped sofa. The older man sat in one of the armchairs beside it. Leo watched as Josh leant forward on his elbows, both hands balled into fists. He stared directly at the floor.

"Josh?"

"Leo…"

Leo's heart rate rose slightly as his Deputy looked up from the floor. Even in the dim light, Leo could see the colour had drained from his face. His pupils were dilated and small beads of sweat had formed around his hairline.

"Josh, are you feeling alright?"

Josh sat up straight up where he was sat, his balance drifting slightly.

"Leo…I just wanna…say that… I'm sorry…"

Leo watched in horror as Josh's eyes rolled and his body slumped back on the sofa with a thud. Without a moment's hesitation he sprung from his seat and turned his Deputy's body round so he was lying flat on the sofa. Leo could feel his heart beating in his ears as he saw Josh's unresponsive expression. Following his first instinct, the Chief of Staff pulled off Josh's tie and threw it to the floor. A small sound drew his attention to the carpet; out of Josh's now relaxed fist fell a small box. Picking it up, Leo's vision blurred as he read the front of the crumpled packet.

_Paramol 10mg capsules_

_Mr. Joshua Lyman_

_No more than 2 capsules per day, as prescribed._

The date on the underside was that day's.

Hands shaking, Leo checked the inside of the box.

It was empty.

Josh had taken 14. A week's worth.

"MARGARET!"

Squashing the box in his tight grip, Leo shakily stood up from Josh's side.

The door opened quickly and Margaret's expression contorted in an instant.

"Leo?! Is Josh okay?" She stepped into the office quickly and shut the door, rushing over to Josh's side.

"I-I haven't got time to explain," Leo stammered, head spinning, "Stay here with him. Let no-one in. I'm going to find-"

"Go!" Margaret shouted, understanding.

For the first time since he had been in this job, Leo unceremoniously burst through the door to the West Wing without the courtesy of a knock. The President was sat behind his desk and looked up in surprise at Leo's entrance, glancing over the top of his reading glasses.

"Leo? What is the meaning of-?"

"Mr. President, where is the First Lady?" Leo strode over to the desk as President Bartlett rose. The former Governor of New Hampshire dropped his glasses onto his desk as he stepped around it, the glimmer of a smirk appearing on his face.

"Leo, I know we are all stressed, but you come bursting into my office and then ask to see my-"

"Jed, where's Dr. Bartlett!" The urgency in Leo's voice heightened as Jed's face spread into one of confusion. Jed? Dr. Bartlett…? It took a few split seconds for the President to work it out.

"She's in the residence."

Before he could continue, Leo began to stride towards the doors that led to the outside walkway. Jed held out a hand and grabbed Leo's elbow.

"Leo, who-?"

"Josh." Leo didn't fight against Jed's grip as he turned his head towards his boss's. His expression was firm, but Jed could see the glimmer of absolute concern and devastation behind his blue eyes.

"I'll send Charlie, it's faster," Jed replied, following it up with a call to his personal aide.

Charlie stepped through the door moments later, "Yes, Mr. President?"

"Charlie," Jed let go of Leo and motioned for Charlie to come over. Placing two hands on his shoulders, the President addressed his confused aide, "I need you to run up to the residence as fast as you can and get Abbey down here. Tell her _Dr. Bartlett _is needed." He emphasised his wife's title.

"Sir?"

"It's Josh."

Charlie's expression tightened, his eyebrows forming a concerned arc as he nodded before sprinting away towards the residence.

"Agent Johnson!" The President poked his head out of the door to the walkway and motioned for one the Agents to step into the Oval Office, "Medical emergency. Deputy Chief of Staff. Get us a priority ambulance and pre-warn GW. My wife is on her way down for the intermittent period."

"Yes, sir," Agent Johnson nodded.

"And keep this quiet. I don't the press sniffing us out too early."

Jed stepped back into the office, glancing anxiously at Leo. His Chief of Staff's glazed over vision and tired expression stung Jed to the core.

"Where is he, Leo?" Jed asked quietly.

"My office."

"Donna?"

"Sent home, Josh is with Margaret."

"Right…" Jed nodded, taking steps towards Leo's office, "He's gonna be alright, you know. Right, now tell me what's going-"

The door to the Oval Office sprung open as Abbey Bartlett came hurtling towards her husband, Charlie sprinting behind her. The aide shut the door with a slam as Abbey addressed Leo and Jed in the same breath.

"Where is he? What happened?"

"Leo's office. Charlie go and meet the emergency services."

Abbey was breathing heavily as she turned to face Leo, her questioning look demanding answers. Leo didn't reply, just held the crumpled medication box for her to take. She grabbed it and read the label, eyes visibly widening.

"How many?" She demanded.

"14," the Chief of Staff croaked.

Without a reply, Abbey sprinted towards Leo's office and burst through the door. Without hesitation, Margaret stepped back from Josh's side towards the door, biting her thumb. Jed and Leo stepped in after her, Leo leaning back on his desk to prevent his knees from buckling underneath him.

Abbey knelt beside Josh and ripped open the top few buttons of his shirt. She pressed two fingers to his neck and held her small elegant gold watch in front of her as she counted for 6 seconds. The First Lady frowned and manipulated the Deputy Chief of Staff so he was in the recovery position. Once settled, she lifted each individual eyelid to check his pupils and placed her ear beside his open mouth to check his breathing.

"Abbey?" Jed asked cautiously.

Abbey didn't look up, but checked Josh's heart again, "His heart rate is…" she finished counting, "…slowing. We're down to around 42 bpm. Breathing's shallow. The rectus and oblique eye muscles are spasming," Abbey looked up at her husband, "You have called for an ambulance?"

Jed nodded, concerned at his wife's expression, "Yes. I sent Johnson. Abbey, is…" Jed snuck a glance at a blank-faced Leo, "is he going to be okay?"

Abbey hesitated, biting the inside of her lip, "Paramol, like all strong painkillers, blocks receptor proteins on the post-synaptic nerve. It means that pain sensations cannot reach the brain, and so are not felt. The problem with taking too many is that the drug starts to block protein receptors on all synapses to all muscles, and can damage control and regulation of normal bodily functions," she hesitated again, noting Jed and Leo's glazed looks, "Simply put, there's a danger his nervous system will shut down completely. There's nothing I can do now, we need to get him to GW-"

Abbey was cut off by a sudden lurch from Josh on the sofa. Leo's eyebrows raised and Jed cried out something none of them heard properly as the four in the room watched Josh's whole body start to shake.

"Shit."

Abbey placed a firm grip on Josh's shoulder as the man shuddered uncontrollably. Margaret could take no more and had to step out of the room. Jed was shouting question after question at his wife.

"Abbey?!"

"He's gone into spasm. The brain is struggling to differentiate between signals. Some synapses are blocks others aren't. Dammit!"

She checked his heart rate again and turned urgently towards her husband.

"He's going into cardiac arrest! Get me the defibrillator from the Oval!"

Jed didn't reply as he burst back into the Oval Office, flinging the portrait of Eisenhower on the floor and revealing the small box containing the emergency defibrillator. He heard voices and commotion as he passed the instrument to his wife. It seemed the ambulance services were arriving.

Leo's vision had blurred so much he could hardly see. He was in a haze, head pounding. Was this actually happening? He hadn't been drinking?

"Clear!"

The wall of noise deafened the Chief of Staff as he continued to lean, confused, to the front of his desk. Everyone but him was moving and shouting animatedly. But he just stood.

"Clear!… Josh, you son of a bitch, don't you dare!"

White light flashed in front of his eyes and he felt like he was back in GW. Relief washed over him; the President was okay, just a minor bullet wound and no other casualties to speak of. That was until CJ called out to him over from the other end of the emergency room. Josh was hit.

"Come on… Clear!"

He put on a brave face that day. He had to be strong for the President. For the Administration. For Donna and the rest. But truth be told, Leo didn't sleep for weeks. Everyday he felt thankful, despite not being a religious person, that Josh survived. He was a fighter. It'd take more than a gunshot wound to kill him.

"Jed, get Leo out of here!"

More than an extra pill or two anyway.

Leo felt a pull on his arm and allowed himself to be guided into the Oval Office. Without a word, he felt Jed Bartlet envelop him into a tight hug, his chin falling on his best friend's shoulder.

Jed was shaking, Leo noted.

Leo hadn't reacted at all, Jed noted.

"Come on, Abbey…"


	9. Act 3 Part 1

**A/N Thanks for all the kind reviews! That last chapter drew out the largest response, so I can only say thanks and hope you guys keep reading and giving me feedback! Ideas and suggestions are also most appreciated.**

**I was also thinking of a different title. Mine's a little obvious at the moment, and this is just as much a Leo and Josh fic as it is Josh and Donna fic as it is an ensemble fic. Any suggestions will be much appreciated!**

* * *

_**Act 3 - Way to Fall**_

"Charlie… are you-?"

"It's alright, Mr. President, I'm on it."

Jed Bartlet nodded lightly and let his eyes flick around the dark insides of the vehicle. His slightly-too-long fingernails scratched against the cool leather in irritation. The sense of total uselessness was not something Jed encountered too often in his Presidency. Even if it wasn't great for his PR, if Jed wanted something done, he could damn well pull an Executive order out of the bottom drawer and get it done.

Sometimes life just didn't work like that, he concluded. If this day had taught him anything, it was that.

Jed's eyes drifted across to his left. Next to him, his best friend was staring straight-faced out of the window, not a flicker of life behind those bright blue eyes. Sighing audibly, the President reached over and placed his hand on Leo's knee, feeling a slight flinch as he did so.

"Toby? I…Look just listen to me, I… Yes, Toby I know but…God damn it Toby! We've got a situation… If you let me finish, I'd tell you… We are following Josh's ambulance to GW, which I would have said if you let me finish!…" Charlie's voice was rising as he was trying to explain the situation to Toby, "Yes, you did hear me right… Toby, calm down, I know… The President and Leo… I'll pass you over."

Jed reached out for the phone without having to hear a word from Charlie.

"Toby…"

* * *

Toby felt his hands shaking as he ended the call with the President.

"Toby?" CJ asked cautiously, trying to get a grasp on the half of the conversation she heard, "What's happened to Josh?"

"He's on his way to GW… something about an overdose. Margaret is waiting for us at the North exit, cars are ready to take us to the hospital. In the mean time, someone has to get hold of Donna."

The silence was deafening. Toby refused to take his eyes off the 'end call' button. CJ placed her hands to her forehead while Sam set his gaze firmly on his boss, his cheeks paling.

"Josh tried…" Sam stammered, "…tried to commit suicide?"

Toby looked up from his phone straight into Sam's eyes.

Lord knows he didn't want to answer that question.

* * *

"I want an update on Josh's condition."

"Mr. President, sir, he's only just arrived, it'll be a number of minutes before the doctors can make an assessment-"

"Godammit! Someone better get me an assessment quickly before-"

"Jed!"

Jed was cut off as he glanced over to the white door to his left. His pale-faced wife stood, clearly fatigued, in the doorway. Jed breathed out audibly as he turned his back to the doctor, taking strides towards the waiting room door, behind which Leo was sat. Abbey followed silently.

"Seriously, Abbey, how is he?" The President asked quietly.

"Too early to say…" Abbey mumbled, "I got his heart going again just as the emergency paramedics managed to hook him up to an IV. He was straight on the cardiac machines in the ambulance and they've just put him on ventilation to make sure he keeps breathing."

Jed's eyes looked straight into his wife's with a look of horror and utter despair, "To make sure he keeps breathing?"

Abbey sighed, placing a hand on Jed's back, "Josh went into cardiac arrest. He lost control of much of his central nervous system. The doctors can keep him functioning for a while, but it's up to Josh whether he comes back to us or not."

"Back to…?" Jed trailed off, both due to his tirade of indescribable emotion, and due to the commotion that was Toby, who had just come screaming through the main doors, CJ, Sam and Margaret trailing.

"Mr. President!" Toby called out.

* * *

"How long will all this take?" CJ asked with a whisper as Abbey explained the scenario.

"4-5 hours to clear his system. He's hooked up to what is like a dialysis machine to clear his blood, that way they can be sure most of the drug has left his bloodstream. They've pumped his stomach and administered adrenaline and other excitatory drugs. Then it's just down to what damage his system may have taken as a result. It's too early to speculate."

CJ nodded as the group stood outside the waiting room door. Toby was pacing up and down the corridor, scowling at anything and everyone that breathed. Charlie was doing the same, in the opposite direction, a more thoughtful expression playing on his features than Toby's. Jed held Abbey's elbow tightly as his eyes drifted over to Margaret who sat on one of the small plastic waiting chairs. He let go gently and sat down next to Leo's assistant, placing one hand on the small of her back as the only sign of comfort he could really muster.

Sam was staring through the window on the door of the waiting room. It was dark inside, but Sam could just about make out the form of Leo McGarry leant over on his elbows as he sat. Without a word to any of the others, Sam slipped inside.

"Leo?"

Sam spotted Leo's eyes flick immediately up to his own, carrying the same intense look they always did. Sam stepped over slowly and sat next to the Chief of Staff.

"Have you heard what's going on?"

Leo turned his head and nodded slowly. Sam heard Leo clear his throat quietly as he opened his mouth to speak. He hesitated and closed it again, and resorted only to lifting his arm and placing it around Sam's shoulder, squeezing him into a one-armed hug for a split second before pulling his arm back.

"I know he's your best friend," Leo croaked.

"I know he's your son," was Sam's quick reply.

Leo's brow furrowed, before he let out a small laugh and shook his head, "Has anyone called Donna yet?"

Sam nodded, "She's on her way. Do you want me to call Josh's mum?"

Leo could have kicked himself. How could he forget Josh's mother at a time like this? He shook his head quickly before standing.

"No, I've got to do it. I can't believe I forgot…"

Sam flashed a small, comforting smile before taking steps towards the door. He stopped as his hand hovered over the handle.

"Josh'll be alright, you know."

Sam left the room, letting it drop back into darkness as he shut the door. Leo took the opportunity to brush the back of his hand quickly over his eyes before leaving to join his compatriots himself.

"I'm not too sure this time, Sam…"

All eyes turned to the Chief of Staff as he left the waiting room. Leo caught Jed's sympathetic gaze as he stepped over the way-too-shiny floor towards the black phone on the wall. The White House had been granted use of all the pay phones for their optimal use.

He was putting a phone call in for Joshua Lyman, and Leo could think of no better use for taxpayer's money.

Before he could dial, however, his attention was caught by the sound of doors whipping open. Turning his head, like the rest of the group did, Leo saw Donna Moss practically sprint down the corridor, sliding to a stop right in the middle of the group.

"Charlie rang me… I came as… what… is Josh?…Oh, god…"

Leo swallowed the lump in his throat as he assumed everyone else did. He saw Sam step forward and pull Donna in towards him. Donna collapsed into the young man's arms, shoulders shaking violently as she sobbed into his jacket.

Leo had to turn back to the phone as his shaky fingers punched in a familiar number, one he used to call all the time as a younger man. He swallowed as he pulled the receiver to his ear, flinching at the loud rings on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Kath?… It's Leo."

* * *

**"_Joshua? That you?"_**

**"_Yeah, mum, it's me."_**

_**Kathleen Lyman didn't look up from her sink as she shouted to her son, who had just come in from school. Josh kicked his tatty trainers across the porch, wincing as they bounced of the wooden staircase, ignoring the incomprehensible shouts of his protesting mother from the kitchen.**_

_**Letting his rucksack fall onto only on shoulder, the 15 year-old stepped through the white door into his lounge, making a beeline for the television. He stopped abruptly when he saw a man he'd never seen before, sat on his sofa.**_

_**The man looked like he was in his mid-thirties, around 8 years younger than his father. The man stood slowly when he saw Josh enter the room, face carrying a loopy, friendly grin. He was dressed in navy Adidas tracksuit bottoms with what looked to be an old, white US Air Force tee. His jet black hair fell loosely to the right, some strands drooping over his forehead, refusing to remain in line.**_

**"_Oh, Josh!" _**

_**The young man jumped as his mother poked her head around the door.**_

**"_Why don't you keep Mr. McGarry company for a couple of minutes before your father gets home?"_**

**"_Uh.. Okay."_**

_**Josh turned his head back round as his mother shut the door behind her. As much as it was uncomfortable, Josh was aware of how his mother expected him to treat guests. Looks like he wasn't going upstairs to try out his new VHS player he got for his birthday the week before. **_

_**Mr. McGarry sat back down on his chair as Josh moved round the sofa to sit opposite him. He threw his rucksack to the floor with accidental force, sighing heavily as a spew of papers and books came flooding out of the top.**_

**"_What have you been working on?" Mr. McGarry asked Josh, smiling lightly as the young man threw his papers back into the rucksack with some irritation._**

**"_This is all AP Economics. Too much of it really," Josh replied, zipping his bag up tightly._**

**"_AP Economics? How old are you, kid?"_**

**"_15," Josh replied, meeting Mr. McGarry's look forcefully, trying to hide his insult at the patronising question._**

**"_Isn't that too young to be thinking about APs?"_**

_**Josh shrugged, placing his rucksack on the sofa beside him, "I'm near top of my class. They thought they'd get us ahead."**_

**"_Do you like economics?"_**

**"_Hmm…" Josh hesitated, "I want to say yes, but I don't really enjoy the classes. I tend to argue with people a lot."_**

_**Mr. McGarry sat back in his chair, loopy smile returning, "About what?"**_

_**Josh laughed, unconsciously feeling more comfortable with this stranger, "The need for free market capitalism. It's oppressive, unfair and wrong."**_

**"_Oh? In what sense?"_**

**"_Don't get me wrong, it's great for those in power, big business, the well educated, etc. But what about those who can't afford private education? Are they left with minimal-paying jobs at Wendy's for the rest of their life?"_**

**"_It's the way of the market."_**

**"_It's unfair, that's what it is!"_**

**"_So what would you suggest? Keynesianism?"_**

_**Josh hesitated, catching Mr. McGarry's grin. This man was leading him into a debate, "Absolutely. I'm a liberal. Keynesianism ensures the majority of society have the opportunity to further themselves in the economy. Regardless of original economic status."**_

**"_You say you're a liberal?" Mr. McGarry decided to continue, "What about the property rights of those big business owners you're taxing?"_**

**"…_Well… they already have enough money! They…"_**

**"_Right," Mr. McGarry cut him off, "So if you have a candidate for say… the Presidency, and you want to advocate a policy of total Keynesianism-"_**

**"_It's political suicide!" Josh practically shouted._**

**"_Exactly. So what would you propose?"_**

**"_Um… Well, you wouldn't call it Keynesianism for a start…" Josh bit his lip._**

**"_But what about if you win?" Came the reply, "I'm not sure the electorate would be happy with a liar in office."_**

**"_You'd have to offer an incentive."_**

_**Leo nearly laughed out loud. This kid was certainly bright, "Give me and example."**_

**"_Tax breaks… for businesses that provide good standards for their workers. More jobs. Support for the local community. Stuff like that."_**

**"_You've got it," Mr. McGarry placed his arm on the back of the chair, slouching slightly as he did so, "How would you run that in a campaign?"_**

**"_You'd advertise the incentives. Don't call it Keynesianism." Mr. McGarry noted the small smile appearing on Josh's face as he came to his conclusion._**

_**The stranger held out his hand to the young boy.**_

**"_Leo McGarry."_**

_**Josh took it, "Joshua Lyman."**_

**"_Say, Josh," Leo started, "Have you decided what you want to do when you're older?"_**

**"_Corporate law, like his old man, right Josh?"_**

_**The pair looked up to the door, both standing as Noah Lyman stepped in. Leo smiled widely, he stepped over and shook Noah's hand.**_

**"_Noah! Great to see you old friend."_**

**"_You too, Leo," the spectacled lawyer replied. His receding hairline was beginning to show specks of grey around his ears, something Josh used to tease his father for, "I'm sorry I'm late. I'll just go and change, we can leave in a minute."_**

_**Leo nodded, "Sure."**_

**"_You alright talking to Leo for a little while longer, Josh?" Noah asked, earning an enthusiastic nod from his son, "Good."_**

_**Noah closed the door behind him and Leo and Josh sat back down.**_

**"_Where are you going, if you don't mind me asking?" Josh asked tentatively, glancing at Leo's rather unprofessional attire. Leo laughed._**

**"_I'm visiting Connecticut for a month or so. Your father is an old friend of mine. I challenged him to a game of basketball."_**

**"_My dad's no good at basketball," Josh commented, noting the age difference and obvious youth in the man sat before him._**

_**Leo laughed again, "I'm not as energetic as I used to be. I was in the Air Force, injured in 'Nam. Can't run as fast as I did."**_

**"_Sorry…" Josh replied abruptly._**

**"_Don't be," Leo grinned, "I can still school your father at basketball quite easily, though, don't get me wrong."_**

**"_How did you meet?"_**

**"_After the war ended, I was a big campaigner for compensation for a few of my compatriots that were injured. Your father led the case."_**

_**Josh nodded, remembering being a child and seeing his father on television, fighting a big compensation case for members of the military who had been injured in Vietnam, "Did you receive compensation?"**_

_**Leo shook his head, "No. I never sought it. Being alive was my compensation."**_

**"_Oh," Josh nodded, glancing over his shoulder as his father returned to the room._**

**"_Hope you aren't outsmarting one of the leading minds in the Democratic Party, Joshua."_**

_**Josh looked back at Leo, shocked, as his father revealed Leo's profession.**_

**"_You work for the Democrats?"_**

_**Leo laughed, "9 to 5."**_

_**Noah smiled, "Ready to go, Leo?"**_

**"_Ready when you are, Noah. Say, Josh, how about we finish our Economics talk some time? Have a think and bring me your ideas."_**

_**All Josh could do was grin.** _


	10. Act 3 Part 2

Leo put the phone down slowly. It dropped with a click. He took a second to lean his head forward onto the wall, the cool surface a refreshing change to his hot brow.

Kathleen Lyman had done her fair share of shouting. Who was to blame her? Her son had been rushed into hospital with near complete nervous breakdown. The kid nearly died again.

And she was right, it was Leo's fault. First the shooting. Then the PTSD. Now this.

Leo decided it was about clear that he wasn't doing a fantastic job of keeping his promise to Noah.

Lifting his head off the wall, Leo glanced around the corridor, noting only the few agents and the odd nurse lining the hall. The rest of the party had moved into the waiting room. But Leo had one more phone call to make.

He inputted another familiar number and held the receiver to his ear, waiting patiently as the rings woke the person on the other end. A muffled yawn broke the metronomic rings.

"He-Hello?"

"Mallory? It's dad."

* * *

"_**No, you have to follow through, or you won't get the trajectory. Watch me."**_

_**Leo put his feet up on the small wall opposite the chair he was sitting on, sipped from his glass of water and smiled. He heard the gasp of awe from his daughter as Josh flung the football across the garden, the 17 year old grinning in his own self-gratification as he exhibited perfect technique.**_

_**Mallory laughed at Josh's showing off and chased after the ball, her curly brown locks flowing behind her.**_

"_**She's getting better, huh?"**_

_**Leo looked up as Noah joined him at the patio table. Leo shook his head quickly as his friend offered him some scotch, regretting it almost immediately.**_

"_**Staying off the scotch?" **_

"_**Jenny doesn't like Mallory playing too much sport like this. She prefers her doing 'girls sports'," Leo made quotation marks with his fingers, avoiding Noah's previous question, "Not that anyone knows what a girly sport it…"**_

_**Noah laughed, "Josh will take any opportunity to prove his sports skills. Even if it is to an 13 year old girl. You don't agree with Jenny?"**_

"_**Nah," Leo waved a hand in dismissal, "She can do what she likes, she tends to flit from being the girly-girl to the tomboy anyway. And any father would prefer his to be throwing a football around at 13 than any of the other 5000 things she could be doing that would be reprehensible in one way or another."**_

"_**I guess so," Noah agreed, "I'm sure Josh is going to miss her company when he goes off to college, heaven knows he has no luck speaking to girls his own age."**_

"_**Aw, leave the kid be. He's fine," Leo commented, "Does he have any acceptances yet?"**_

_**Noah shook his head, "Not yet, we're still waiting. To be honest, I think Josh is too nervous himself to even think about it. Perhaps showing off his less-than-spectacular football ability may be just what he needs. The boy has a superiority complex."**_

_**As if the forces of nature heard Noah's comment, Mallory's next throw of the football went higher, further and faster than Josh's, dropping to the ground on the other side of the large garden with a thump. Mallory cheered as Leo and Noah laughed; the corners of Josh's mouth twitching before he forced a fake, congratulatory smile.**_

"_**May wanna work on the actual superior part though, huh?" Leo mumbled between laughs.**_

* * *

Leo placed the phone down with the same deliberation he did after Mrs. Lyman's call. Mallory would be straight over first thing in the morning. Sighing audibly, Leo semi-regretted placing this on his daughter, but he knew that she was as close to Josh as any of them. Hell, he'd even helped her run away once when Leo said she couldn't have that girly make-up set she wanted.

"She was too young for that anyway…"

"Mr. McGarry? Did you say something sir?"

"Hm?" Leo's gaze shot round to the enquiring agent around 5 feet to his right. He shook his head slowly, "No, it's okay, it's nothing."

The agent nodded cautiously before turning back to his post.

"Wait, Agent…?" Leo queried.

"Pierce, sir."

"Agent Pierce," Leo hesitated, "Would I be able to get a car back to the office?"

"Of course, sir. I'll have one ready for you now."

* * *

Toby broke the impenetrable silence as he screwed up the piece of paper he was writing on and threw it across the room. It bounced off the wall and dropped straight into the bin with a clang.

Huffing, Toby picked his feet up and dropped them on the seat opposite him. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and prepared to write once more.

_White House Press Statement re Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman_

After writing the title, Toby reached the familiar stumbling block. Where do you start? He stared at the blank sheet angrily, denting the paper with his black biro as he continuously underlined the title.

"Toby?" Sam whispered, adjusting where he was sat slightly so as not to disturb Donna, who had laid her head on his lap to sleep, "What are you writing?"

"Press statement," was the blunt reply.

"Do you want me to do it?"

"No."

"Alright…well chuck it over when you're done and I'll have a look."

Sam sighed as he looked round the darkened room. It was nearly morning now, they'd been in the hospital for around 3 hours. CJ was asleep across some of the chairs in one corner of the room. Margaret was flat out on a chair next to her. Charlie had headed back to the office and Abbey was still in with Josh and the other doctors. Glancing at his watch quickly, Sam mentally noted that Josh's blood should be fully filtered within the hour.

The only ones awake in the room now were him, Toby and the President. It took Sam a number of seconds to realise they were still missing one of their ranks.

"Sir?"

The President was jumped out of his pensive trance with a start, "Yes, Sam?"

"Where's Leo?

The President's brow furrowed as he took a couple of seconds to register Sam's question. He took a quick look round the room, as if to check if Sam wasn't looking hard enough.

"I…don't know, Sam."

Jed stood and opened the door to the waiting room, poking his head out and motioning for the attention of one of the agents.

"Agent, where is Leo?"

"Mr. McGarry, sir? He went back to the offices around an hour ago."

"Really… thank you."

Jed stepped back into the waiting room slowly, meeting Sam's eyes and confirming the younger man had heard the agent.

"Do you want me to go back?" Sam asked. Before Jed could answer, Toby stood quickly.

"I'll go."

"Toby?"

Whipping himself round so he had his back to the pair, Toby brought a hand up to his forehead. He pressed down on the tops of his eyebrows briefly before squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"Toby? Are you alright?" Jed took steps towards his Director of Communications.

"I'll go back to the office. I'll finish this statement, brief the press and check in on Leo."

"Toby, seriously-" Sam started.

"Give me a call on my cell if anything changes with Josh."

"Toby, it wasn't your fault!" Sam raised his voice slightly, concerned he may wake one of the sleeping members of the group.

"Sam, you know that I…" Toby stopped talking as he shrugged with frustration, his hand bouncing off his thigh as he let it drop. He picked up his jacket and flung it over his shoulder, "I'll be at the office."

"Toby…"

The door slammed shut.

* * *

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

Toby stopped chucking the pink ball as he missed the catch. It bounced on the worn-in carpet of his office, stopping a few feet away from his left foot.

Picking up his biro, Toby scribbled down what was left of his press statement and stood up to leave. He took a few steps towards the door before turning back and grabbing his jacket, placing the press statement in the upper right pocket.

The corridors were still empty as Toby checked his watch. 3:45 a.m. Within seconds he walked straight through Margaret's office and into the Chief of Staff's.

"Leo."

Leo looked up from his desk in surprise before pulling his glasses off his nose slowly.

"Toby? Weren't you at the hospital?" Leo asked, his casual tone causing Toby to frown.

"I was… writing the press statement."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"You don't want to see it?" Toby pushed.

"I trust you."

"Oh, come of it Leo."

Leo met Toby's eyes with resolute conviction, despite the early hour.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What are you doing?"

"What?"

"Why are you here?"

"If you haven't noticed…" Leo's tone hardened slightly as he reached for his glasses and looked back down at his file, "I am White House Chief of Staff. I have work to be doing."

"At 3:45 a.m.? With Josh Lyman on death's door at GW?"

Toby immediately regretted pushing that far as he saw Leo's shoulders visibly twitch. The older man's hand was shaking as he placed his glasses back down on the desk, his gaze rising to meet Toby's once more.

"Don't do this to yourself, Leo," Toby decided to get in first, "Go back to the hospital and be with Josh, everyone knows you of all people should be first there."

"His mother should be first there."

"And where is his mother?"

"In Germany. She's catching the next flight over."

"Exactly, meaning you are the top of the people-who-are-closest-to-Josh list."

"Toby…"

"He comes off the thing soon."

"The thing may not have done anything." Toby noted a small crack in Leo's voice, "Fact of the matter is, Toby, the odds that Josh is going to come through this at all are pretty slim. I'm just trying to deal with the fact that he may not be alright at all, especially considering that I had a part to play in all this. I left it too long, and Josh came off the worse for it. I couldn't just sit there in the hospital, knowing I could have done something to stop it."

Toby hesitated before Leo continued.

"And I could ask you why you not at the hospital too. Same reason?"

Leo raised his eyebrows as he waited for an answer from the Director of Communications. Toby bit the inside of his lip as he placed his hand on the cool brass of the door handle, preparing to leave.

"The difference between you and me, Leo, is that I'm not the one Josh will be expecting to see first when he wakes up."


	11. Act 3 Part 3

_Thump_

_***Ring***_

_Thump_

_***Ring***_

_Thump_

_***Ring***_

"Yeah?"

"Toby!"

Sam leant back against the wall as Toby finally answered his call. It was the third time trying and Sam wasn't sure if Toby wasn't around or was just ignoring him. He ran his hands over his eyes quickly, wiping off the beads of perspiration that seemed to form inevitably around his eyebrows.

"Sam."

Toby placed the pink ball on the shiny surface of his desk, his right knee bouncing as he twitched the muscles in his lower leg. He glanced round his office, eyes narrowed and face set as he waited for a hesitant reply.

"Are you… I mean… are you still at the office?"

"Clearly."

"Right, stupid question. Leo's there?"

"Yeah."

"Did you… talk to him?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Sam swallowed, "Toby, the doctors have finished clearing Josh's blood."

"You mean he's off the thing?" Toby sat up now, listening more intently. He accidentally knocked the pink ball as he did so, ignoring it as it bounced off the desk and across his office.

"Yeah…"

"Well? Is he okay?"

"Not exactly," Sam hesitated as Toby mentally cursed, "They tried to take him off the support systems. He didn't respond on his own so they've had to stick him back on the machines."

"Life support machines," Toby commented.

"Yeah."

"What do they do now?" Toby asked, Sam noting the slight crack in his normally monotonous voice.

"Well… they've cleared all of the drug out of his body. According to them, it's now up to Josh if he responds or not. They're gonna keep trying him off the machines every now and then. The problem is that…" Sam trailed off.

"…the more they do it, the more damage it's doing to Josh," Toby finished.

"Yeah."

"Right… They letting you see him?"

"Soon. The President wants us to wait."

"Fine," Toby knew why, "I'll get Leo."

"Toby, he's not…" Toby heard Sam trail off again.

"I'll get Leo."

* * *

Toby didn't hesitate to knock. He felt his heartbeat in his ears as he burst through the door to Leo's office. His tie flicked over his shoulder as he practically knocked the door down, the noise apparently having no effect on the White House Chief of Staff, who was sat motionless behind his desk.

"Leo," Toby said breathlessly.

Leo finally looked up from where he was sat. Toby noted the untouched pile of papers from when he was last in the office. Leo hadn't moved either, his glasses low on his nose.

"Leo, Josh is off the thing."

Leo's expression didn't change as Toby told his boss what Sam had told him; Josh was being kept on life support machines until the doctors wanted to try him on his own again. Toby mentally cursed as he heard himself spit out the details like it was some crap from a Department of Agriculture briefing, this was their friend. He strode to the coat stand and picked up Leo's jacket before lifting the older man out of his chair by his arm and slipping it over his shoulders.

"We're going to the hospital," Toby announced as he straightened Leo's jacket. He left his hands on his boss's shoulders when he was done, "and we are going to see Josh."

Leo's eyebrows rose slightly as he observed the honesty in Toby's eyes. Only once before had he seen Toby this… defenceless.

And it was when Toby wanted to put everyone wearing a white hood behind bars.

* * *

Toby and Leo stopped in their tracks for a second as they waited for the automatic doors to the hospital to slide open. As soon as the opening was large enough, Toby went striding at a fast pace down the hall. Leo stuffed his hands in his pockets and followed shortly behind.

"Mr. President."

Toby nodded to Jed as he reached the President. Jed motioned with his hand to the waiting room, indicating where the rest of the group were. Toby took a look over his shoulder back to Leo, who was staring at his feet as he followed around 10 feet behind. Toby and Jed's eyes met and a small nod from the President assured Toby enough to allow him to join his friends.

"Leo."

Leo looked up from his feet as he walked, his eyebrows raised in the classic questioning look his features often displayed.

"Mr. President?"

Jed bit the inside of his lip as Leo's voice cracked slightly. He didn't know if it was because his friend hadn't said a word to anyone in a little while, or if it was because Leo was at breaking point. Jed stepped towards his friend.

"Did Toby fill you in with what's happening with Josh?"

Leo nodded resolutely, the same expression still playing on his features.

"They're gonna try to take him off the machines again after we have gone to see him."

Leo's gaze dropped back to his feet as Jed stepped closer and placed a hand on his best friend's upper arm. The President felt Leo twitch slightly.

"Leo, it's alright."

"I could have done more," Leo replied.

Jed just shook his head, "No. Josh wouldn't have let you."

Jed felt Leo's shoulders lurch slightly as he stopped talking, his friend's gaze dropping down to the floor. The President dropped his voice to a whisper.

"How you holding up?"

Jed saw Leo's eyes narrow slightly, his mouth opening as if to reply. In response, Jed tightened his grip on Leo's shoulders.

"He was my responsibility, Jed."

"I know, Leo."

With that, Jed pulled Leo towards him tightly, feeling Leo finally succumb to the shakes as he silently placed his head onto Jed's jacket.

Jed felt a new wave of anger surge up within him. Anger at those who felt enough hate for Charlie to try to kill him. Anger at those who did this to Josh. Anger at those who did this to Leo. It was cruel, and no matter how much power befell his hands, there was absolutely nothing Jed could do about it. All that was left was hope and a foolish optimism.

He could only hope Josh pulled through. And he could only be optimistic for his friends, his family and for himself.

The door to Josh's ward opened as Abbey stepped out. Jed's eyes flicked over to hers, still clutching Leo tightly.

"The doctors have said we can see Josh now before they…," Abbey whispered, her eyes boring into Jed's.

"Have they contacted Josh's mother?" Jed replied, quietly.

"She's given permission. She'll be here around midday. She… she wants people to sit with him."

Jed nodded slowly in understanding, letting his gaze wander to the middle distance as Abbey returned to Josh's room.

* * *

Jed decided they all ought to go in together.

The group congregated outside Josh's room in silence. Jed had his back to the door as his friends collected themselves. Charlie had returned from the office and was stood beside the President, his eyebrows arched with concern. CJ was next in line, her eyes looking tired, yet resolute as she prepared to face Josh's condition. She was stood next to Margaret, who's eyes were flicking round the group quickly. Sam was wearing a frown, one arm tightly around the shoulders of a damp-eyed Donna.

Tailing the group was Toby and Leo. Toby's cheeks had flushed red, his face wearing the familiar frustrated look, like he was going to burst at any moment.

Leo was behind Toby, his face blank, his eyes drifting slowly around the room. Jed watched him for a second, feeling familiar concern, yet deciding to leave Leo to himself at a time like this.

The President turned back as the door to Josh's room opened. Abbey poked her head around the door and shot a small, consoling smile to the group.

"You can come in now, but it can only be for a moment," she whispered, stepping back from the doorway.

Jed nodded and lead the group into the room. Charlie, CJ, Margaret, Sam and Donna followed silently.

Toby hesitated as he stood in the doorway. He could just about make out the outline of Josh on the hospital bed in the dim light. He heard the humming and whirring of the machines that were attached to the wall. He felt his heart pound in his ears.

Turning his head slightly, Toby looked over at Leo, who was watching him. Leo's face was set seriously, wrinkles forming stripes on his forehead. They retained eye contact for a couple of seconds before Leo nodded slightly, only enough for Toby to see. Toby nodded back and led the two into Josh's room.

Toby felt his held breath leave him as he fully took in the scene that played out before him.

Josh was laid on his back, one pillow beneath his head. His hair was splayed out around him in all directions, framing his face. A clear plastic mask covered much of his face, attached tightly to the skin on his cheeks. Protruding from this mask was a thick plastic tube leading to the ventilation machine, the black rubber pump rising and lowering as it breathed for Josh. Despite all this, Josh's face was calm, his normally tensed facial features relaxed, appearing to be in a deep sleep.

Toby heard the steady 'beep' of the cardiac machine as it pumped Josh's blood for him. The surrounding monitors were alive with colour and ever-changing numbers as they monitored every movement of blood around the man's body. Lining the headboard of the bed were a number of different coloured IVs, each individually labelled with some strangely named substance. Bar one, which Toby recognised.

_Morphine_

Toby's hand gravitated to his face as he clenched it into a fist and rested it just under his nose. He had settled himself at the back of the room, a number of metres from Josh's bed, and noted Leo's presence just inside the doorway.

The rest of the party had settled around the bed. Jed was on Josh's immediate right, his face solemn as he stared down at the younger man. Abbey was stood behind Jed, a hand resting on the small of his back as her eyes periodically flicked over to the machines, checking Josh's 'vitals', if you could call them that when attached to life support.

Sam and Donna were stood the other side of Josh. Donna was breathing quickly, in an attempt to prevent herself from breaking down completely, as she rested her head on Sam's chest. Sam watched his friend's chest rise and fall metronomic ally, his face still wearing the concerned-come-angry frown it did outside the room.

CJ was aggressively chewing her thumb as she stood with Charlie and Margaret at the end of Josh's bed.

"Josh…"

The President reached out with his hand and touched Josh's shoulder.

"You come back to us kid."

"Jed…"

Abbey's hand rose and gripped Jed's shoulder as she pulled him gently from Josh's. The President stood straight and continued to gaze at Josh's peaceful expression. His expression was one of anger and frustration, his eyebrows were low, almost merging together in the centre as he frowned.

"How long until…?" Sam asked quietly, looking over to Abbey. The First Lady glanced at the white standard-issue clock on the wall. It was 05:55.

"5 minutes," she answered, "We should probably only stay for a minute."

Sam nodded slowly, letting his gaze drop back to Josh. Abbey patted Jed's back lightly, almost motioning for him to leave. She felt harsh, but it was best for Jed and the others to be out of the room before the doctors brought in the defibrillator and adrenaline.

"Come on, honey. There's nothing you can do for him right now."

Jed nodded. He reached out one more time and squeezed Josh's shoulder, "I'll see you later, kid."

The President and the First Lady headed towards the door, the former meeting the gaze of every member of the room as they left. Jed stopped in the doorway for a second and gripped Leo's shoulder momentarily before heading out.

Sam mumbled something to Donna, making her stand straight. She sniffed loudly, wiping a hand across her eyes before she leant forward and placed a light kiss on Josh's forehead, pushing his hair back with her hand as she straightened herself. Sam watched Josh's face for a moment before turning and leading Donna out of the room.

Toby watched silently as CJ, Margaret and Charlie each in turn left Josh in their own way. CJ kissed Josh's forehead as Donna did, while Charlie and Margaret left silently in the way Sam did. Toby's gaze didn't falter as he heard the door click shut as Charlie left the room.

It felt like an eternity before Toby stepped forward from the back wall. He had to force himself to place one foot in front of the other until he was stood at the end of the hospital bed.

He ran his tongue over his teeth as his eyes narrowed. He watched Josh for a number of moments, his mind not being able to focus. Whether that was a result of the under-appreciated noisiness of the life support machines or a different reason was a separate debate entirely.

Finally, in a moment of clarity, Toby attributed the lack of his mental focus to the unfamiliar burning sensation he was feeling in his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Toby raised his arm so he was pointing confrontationally at the incapacitated Josh. A wave of anger rose up within him, although he was sure it was not for the recipient of the rather aggressive finger point.

Toby scoffed a pained scoff, "You will not, and I mean _not,_ be allowed to get away with this Josh, you schmuck. Do you hear me?"

Toby withdrew his hand and let it fall to his side. He shifted his balance slightly as he came to his senses, aware that Leo was watching him from the door.

"He deserved that," Leo commented quietly.

"Yeah…" Toby breathed, still watching Josh. He heard Leo step towards him, "I'm gonna… go outside now."

Turning his head, Toby spotted a nod from his boss. Wiping a hand across his forehead (and sneakily across his eyes) Toby left the room to join the rest of his friends.

Leo heard the door close as he leant on the metal railings at the end of Josh's bed. He reached out a hand and placed it on the exposed foot of his deputy.

"Your mum is on the way, Joshua," he breathed, "She'll be here soon, kid, don't worry."

Leo squeezed Josh's foot a little, "They're gonna try and bring you back to us in a minute, you hear?. I know you like to make an entrance but they are only gonna try a couple more times."

"You know, the President has been here this whole time. And Sam and Donna and CJ and Margaret and Abbey. Charlie had to go back to the office for a while and me and Toby…" Leo trailed off, gripping the metal railing tightly so it's square shape dug into his palm.

"I'm sorry, Josh. It's all my fault. I should have spotted it sooner, and I should have done something about it. I should have noticed it was this bad. But I didn't. Definately not so bad that you'd try to..."

"You'll have made your father proud, you know that? The greatest political mind in the country. And I mean that. Better than Toby and Sam, better than the President. One day you'll find your own guy and be a great Chief of Staff, of that I'm sure."

Leo spoke without thought, totally oblivious of the watching gaze of Jed from the now-open doorway.

"So just do me one last favour, kid, come back to us," Leo's voice broke completely as Jed spotted the first silent tear roll down his best friend's cheek, "It'll be nice for your mum to arrive and…"

"Leo, come on. It's time."

Leo turned his head to the President. Jed smiled a friendly smile at his Chief of Staff as Leo stood straight, his hand lifting from Josh's foot.

"You're right," Leo nodded, wiping his jacket sleeve across his cheek absent-mindedly. He took one last look at Josh before heading towards the door, Jed placing an arm on his back as he passed silently.

The doctors and Abbey came striding in in the other direction, wheeling the machines through the door animatedly. The machines which were to attempt, for the third time in the last 2 hours, to fully resuscitate Joshua Lyman.

* * *

**A/N Sorry for the wait! Bit of an angst-y chapter, but I wanted to explore some of the characters a little more, particularly Toby.**

**I'd really appreciate any feedback! Especially since I haven't fully decided on how the next chapter is going to play out RE Josh. Any suggestions/ideas/pleas are much appreciated!**

**PinkPenguin18**


	12. Act 3 Part 4

**A/N Again, thanks to all my reviewers. It's great that people are taking the time to let me know what they think after each chapter. I can only hope that you continue!**

* * *

"Abbey?"

Jed watched his wife close the waiting room door slowly. She turned to the group, each looking on expectantly. Sighing audibly, she rubbed a hand over the back of her head, her eyes displaying the extent of her fatigue.

"They tested him off the machines and his vitals didn't sustain," she said quickly.

"What do you mean 'sustain'?" Sam piped up, sitting next to Donna, his brow furrowing slightly.

"They plummeted sharply," Abbey replied, watching the faces of the group fall in that moment, "The doctors think that it's an improvement from last time they checked though," she added as a small consolation.

"But… why?" CJ asked, "I thought the drug was fully cleared from his system?"

"It is," Abbey confirmed, "But as the drug temporarily blocks protein receptors on synapses and Josh… overdosed on it," she hesitated, "there is concern that he may have done permanent damage to the receptors, meaning sufficient nervous impulses are not being sent to vital organs."

Jed felt his jaw set as he mumbled through his teeth, "So what happens next?"

"They try again in an hour," Abbey shrugged, "If he doesn't sustain his vitals enough on his own then we may have to explore some other options…"

"Such as?"

"Let's…" Toby jumped in abruptly, closing his eyes and bringing a hand up as if to halt the conversation. He paced slightly around the area where he was stood, "Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, please? For the love of god and for the sake of my sanity…"

"I agree with Toby," Sam nodded, his hand now resting lightly on a muted Donna's knee, "The doctors think there's been an improvement, right?" He questioned.

"Possibly," Abbey confirmed, "His vitals didn't drop immediately so…"

Sam just nodded, letting his gaze fall to the floor.

"What time is it?" Jed asked, prompting Abbey to check her gold watch.

"06.15"

"Right… Charlie what do I have this morning?"

Charlie flipped open the small black diary he was holding, "Intelligence Briefing at 07.00, then you were supposed to have Senior Staff at 09.00..."

"Later?"

"Commerce at 10.30"

"Cancel it."

" Agriculture at 12.30"

"_Definitely_ cancel it."

"Counsel's office will also want to see you about appointing a special prosecutor."

"Jed…" Abbey warned.

"I'm staying here," Jed replied, resolutely.

"What about Intelligence?"

Jed sighed, "I guess I've got to go back for that one."

"Sir, I'm going to be heading back to the office in a minute so…" Charlie mumbled, standing.

Jed nodded, "I'll come with you."

Abbey shot her husband a consoling smile as he stood to join Charlie. CJ jumped up moments later.

"I'll go too," she declared.

"CJ?"

"I need to brief the press…" She mumbled, wiping a hand across her eyes, "Sam, did you-?"

"It's here," Toby pulled out the statement from his jacket pocket as CJ turned to him, startled, "but I don't think you should do it."

"What do you mean? The press have to know and-"

"CJ…" Sam interrupted.

"I'll do it," Toby offered.

"I'll be alright."

Toby shook his head, "They are going to be in a particularly carnivorous mood after yesterday and you know it. I'll do my best to act as uncharacteristically stony-faced and uncooperative as possible and they may go easy on me, especially since they are used to my more open, welcoming and happy-go-lucky personality."

CJ and Sam snorted a quiet laugh. Even Jed sneaked a small smile from the doorway as he watched.

"I'll come too," Sam patted Donna's knee lightly before standing, "We can all do it. All three of us. Make it clear that we expect no crap from them today, and we will not tolerate them trying to trip us up."

CJ smiled as Toby nodded in agreement, slapping a hand across Sam's upper arm as a supportive gesture. Donna sniffed loudly before standing to join the others.

"I should come," she offered, "You know… to clear Josh's schedule and stuff…"

"Donna…" Sam stepped forward once more, "I don't think-"

"Go home, kid."

All eyes in the room shot round to Leo, who muttered the suggestion-come-order to Donna.

"Take an hour or so. Come back when we know more," he suggested from where he was sat.

"I agree," Jed added, "It's something I think we should all consider at some point today."

Sam swung his arm around Donna's shoulders and squeezed her tightly towards him, "I'll drop you home."

"Do I get an opinion on this matter?" Donna questioned.

Sam grinned, "None whatsoever."

The Californian led Donna out of the waiting room, followed quietly by CJ, Toby and Charlie. Abbey placed a kiss on Jed's cheek.

"I'm going to check up on him, so I'll see you in an hour, honey."

Jed nodded as she left, clicking the door shut behind her.

"Margaret?"

Leo's assistant jumped to her feet after being addressed by the President.

"Yes, sir?"

"Will you do me a favour?" Jed smiled slightly, "Can you go back to the office with the others and clear Leo's schedule for the day?"

Leo looked up to his boss with protest. Margaret nodded swiftly and replied before Leo could dispute the suggestion.

"Of course, sir."

"Margaret!"

She turned back to face the Chief of Staff and shrugged, "Executive Order, Leo. Not much I can do about it."

Leo smiled a sarcastic smile at her, his features softening after she returned with a more comforting grin.

"I'll see you in an hour," she consoled.

"Unfortunately…" he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Margaret, now get out of here."

Jed gave a wry grin as Margaret stalked out of the room in mock frustration, the door practically slamming behind her.

"I want you to sit with Josh," Jed said.

"He doesn't even know we are there," Leo countered, feeling slightly defensive at the abrupt suggestion.

"I'm not too sure about that," Jed replied, "and anyway, it's not just for him."

"Oh?"

"It'll do you good to sit with him for a while. Don't think about work. Just think about Josh. That and his mother made Abbey promise someone sat with him."

"And his mother will kill you if we disobey a direct order from her, right?"

"You bet your ass."

* * *

"CJ!"

"Carol?"

CJ looked over her shoulder as she saw her assistant come hurtling across the bullpen towards her.

"CJ! You didn't wake me! You should have! Is he… how is…"

CJ began to mumble an incomprehensible apology until she noticed the yawning members of the White House press corps shuffling around the bullpen, obviously trying to sniff out why they were hurled into the office so early for a briefing, especially after the announcement the previous night. CJ grabbed Carol's sleeve and pulled her into the office, slamming the door.

"I'm sorry, Carol," CJ said quietly, "I really am, I just… well it all happened so fast and…"

"It's bad isn't it?" Carol mumbled. CJ closed her eyes and nodded.

"Yeah. They… they don't know if he can keep his heart pumping on his own yet so…"

"God," Carol brought a hand to her forehead, "so… did he just accidentally take too many pills or-?"

Carol was cut off by CJ's shake of the head, "He took 14, Carol."

"Oh…I'll… I'll give the press the heads up for the briefing. I heard Toby's doing it?"

"Yeah... I think it's as much for him to feel in control as it is to help me out," CJ hugged her assistant, "I'll get Sam and Toby."

* * *

Carol waited silently by the door to the briefing room as the solemn trio of CJ, Sam and Toby strode towards her. Toby led the group, hands clutching a screwed up press statement, his face screwed up tightly. Sam and CJ followed behind, the pair both looking nervous and tired but resolute. Carol shot them a brief smile.

"You ready?"

Sam sighed audibly as CJ uttered the affirmative. Toby took a giant step and crashed through the door with force, striding towards the podium.

"Woah…" Sam blinked quickly as he was swarmed with noise and the flashes from a multitude of cameras. He'd been in the briefing room before, but the fallout from the previous day's announcement coupled with no sleep didn't do his reaction to this commotion any good.

"We have an announcement and then I'll answer a few questions," Toby stated over the babble of questions, waiting for the press corps to sit. He laid out the crumpled sheet of paper flat on the podium, feeling slightly more determined when he consciously felt Sam and CJ flank him on either side.

"At just after midnight, Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman was admitted to George Washington University Hospital for emergency treatment concerning a suspected drug overdose. Doctors are currently optimistic about his condition and regular updates will be given as and when-"

"Toby! Is Josh's overdose a reaction to last night's announcement concerning the President's MS?"

"I'm not answering questions yet," Toby replied stiffly, "As I was saying, regular updates will be given as and when we _give a damn_!"

Toby felt CJ grab the inside of his sleeve in support as the room erupted into chaos. Sam stood silently and continued to blink as the flashes from the cameras blinded him. Toby scrunched his nose up slightly as he prepared for the worst.

"I'll answer some of your questions now."

"Has the President appointed a special prosecutor to investigate the MS scandal?"

"Excuse me?" Toby asked incredulously.

"Would you like me to repeat the question?"

"No, I wouldn't like you to repeat the question!" Toby sneered, "Now, if you are going to ask me questions about Josh, do it while I'm still in the mood to talk to you."

"Toby! Did the President's announcement prompt Josh's overdose?"

"I'll have to ask Josh that now, won't I?" Toby replied sarcastically, feeling CJ squeeze his elbow tighter, "Next question. One at a time."

"Who is at the hospital?"

"Currently just Leo McGarry and the First Lady. Myself, CJ Cregg, Sam Seaborn, President Bartlet, Charlie Young and Leo and Josh's assistants were there for most of the night."

"Has Josh's family been informed?"

"You're seriously asking me that question?" Toby could feel his cheeks flushing slightly as CJ muttered something in his ear, something he didn't listen too. Toby sighed, "His mother is flying in from Germany as we speak."

"Should the First Lady be allowed to take part in treatment after the announcement that she was prescribing her husband drugs to treat his Multiple Sclerosis?"

"Firstly, 'her husband' is the President of the United States and so should be referred to that way," Toby spoke through gritted teeth, "and in answer to your question, Abigail Bartlet is a good friend to Josh Lyman as well as being a qualified M.D and so has every right to lend her expertise to the already well established team of doctors at GW."

"Is Josh's suicide attempt a failure on behalf of the Bartlet administration to look after the needs of its staff?"

Toby stood, stunned at the question. He felt himself being pulled back from the podium as he opened his mouth to speak. CJ pushed in front of him.

"Alright, that's enough questions for now."

"CJ!" Toby protested, trying to get back to the microphone.

"Let's go, Toby," CJ muttered, trying to guide Toby away. Sam watched them silently before turning back to face the wall of noise that was sat before him.

"Sam?" CJ called.

"You guys should know better than that," Sam muttered, just loudly enough for the press corps to hear, "Joshua Lyman is a key player in this administration. He's a good friend to all here and a valued member of the Democratic party."

"Sam!" CJ protested, "Leave it. Don't make this a thing."

"This already is a thing, CJ!" Sam argued, "We work in an environment where the public claims it has a right to know what's going on in the personal lives of the staff. It's ridiculous! Why should we be talking about Josh as if he's just some…"

Sam's mumbled trailed off as his eyes gravitated back to the floor. He could feel his shoulders shaking and his eyes burning as he tried to regain control He ignored the flashes of the cameras as he lifted his head.

Toby and CJ stood a few feet away, CJ's hand still resting lightly on Toby's shoulders from when she was pulling him away. Toby bit the inside of his cheek.

"Sam…" Toby stepped forward, "Let's go. CJ's right."

"He's my best friend, Toby," Sam's voice shook as the questions and pictures continued to come.

"I know," Toby began to lead Sam out of the press room, "I know, Sam."

* * *

"Leo?"

Leo jumped, his eyes flashing open in a split second. It took him a moment to realise his surroundings, his heart sinking when he spotted Josh's motionless form on the bed beside him. He felt a yawn escape him as he rubbed his eyes and squinted towards the door.

"Abbey? Was I asleep?" He mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Leo," Abbey apologised stepping in and striding towards the bed. She took up Josh's file and flicked through the most recent assessments quickly as Leo watched, "It's been an hour. They're gonna try again in a minute."

"Oh," Leo nodded, his eyes drawing back to Josh. He stood quietly and walked to his deputy's side, "I'll be out in a second. Is the President here?"

Abbey shook her head, "They are all staying at the office. I told them one of us would contact them with an update. Apparently the fall out from yesterday was bigger than we expected; the press weren't too helpful when they were told about Josh and the Counsel's office is on Jed's back already."

"Right. Do you think I should-?"

"No. Jed made it clear that you should stay," Abbey shot Leo a comforting smile, "I'll be outside, Leo."

With that, she left, and Leo turned back to Josh.

"You really need to get yourself a hair cut, you know that?" He mumbled, placing a hand on Josh's forehead and pushing his hair back from his face. He smiled slightly at a familiar memory.

Leo hadn't seen Josh since he went to college. It was the summer after his first year and Leo and Mallory went to join the Lymans for a weekend; Jenny had to work so couldn't make it. Leo's knock on the door was met with a young man whom Leo didn't quite recognise. Josh had grown his hair over the year, and had bundled it into a small ponytail that rested just at the top of his back. Leo, taken aback, laughed at the offended student, who thought his new found hairstyle was the prime of the day's fashion. However the next time Leo saw him a few weeks later, the ponytail had gone and the prematurely receding shock of chestnut brown, not too short and not too long, had returned.

Leo always felt bad about that.

Letting his hand linger on Josh's forehead for a second, Leo realised it was stone cold. In a moment he was brought back to reality; Josh on the brink. Sighing, the older man removed his hand.

"I'll see you in a bit, Joshua."

Leo stepped towards the door, taking one look back as he left the darkened room.

He watched, almost absent-mindedly as a babbling group of doctors took his place in Josh's room, waving folders and talking in incomprehensible medical jargon. The nurse that followed pushed a trolley with familiar looking cardiac machines laid across the top, along with a whole tray of syringes and IVs. Leo shuddered as he stepped aside for the trolley to pass, his eyes following it slowly.

Tailing the group was the First Lady. Abbey caught his eye briefly and smiled comfortingly, resting a hand on his elbow as she walked past. She stopped as she looked over Leo's shoulder towards the door. Abbey motioned for Leo to turn round with a nod of her head.

"Dad!"

With a squeeze of his elbow, Abbey left Leo silently and followed the doctors into Josh's ward. Leo turned on the spot to face his daughter who was standing in the doorway, dripping wet from the rain outside.

"Mal…" Leo started.

Mallory practically sprinted to her father and flung herself into his arms. Leo wrapped his arms around his daughter tightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I can't believe it, Dad," Mallory started, "I mean… He was getting better! He spoke to me last week, saying everything was going well and…"

"Mal," Leo tried to stop his daughter's rambling.

"Why would he do it, Dad?" She released Leo from her grip and stood straight, "Why would he try and kill himself?"

Leo bit the inside of his lip as he watched his daughter's genuinely worried expression turn into one of despair. He felt his heart sink as he was again reminded that it wasn't just him who was struggling with everything that was going on. Donna… Sam… Toby… all were struggling in their own way, but Leo was never going to be able to deal with Mallory's distress. Josh was Mallory's brother, there was no other way of describing it.

"Come on…" Leo rested a hand on Mallory's cheek for a second, using his thumb to wipe a fresh tear away before removing it. "When do you have to be at school?"

Mallory sniffed, "I can stick here until around 8."

"Alright," Leo nodded resolutely, leading his daughter towards the waiting room "…well lets go in here and talk while the doctors do their thing."

* * *

"Sam."

Toby stood in the doorway to Sam's darkened office, watching his deputy sit with his back to the desk. He glanced over to Bonnie and Ginger, both of whom shrugged.

"Sam." This time he called a little more forcefully, "Come sit in my office with me."

Without a reply, Sam stood up quickly and deliberately, swinging his office chair round so it was facing the right way. He glanced at Toby with his head lowered, eyes darkened by his low brow.

"Thanks," Toby commented quietly, leading his deputy next door. He held the door open for Sam, who strode in and practically fell onto Toby's sofa, already occupied by CJ. Toby shut the door, hung his coat up and sat behind his desk. Toby watched Sam for a second, aware that he had spent all night looking after Donna and no time at all being worried by himself. He was Josh's closest, and oldest, friend. Toby feared the press corps may well have tipped him right over the edge. And he sure as hell wasn't going to let Sam fall off a cliff as he let Josh.

"Any news from the hospital yet?" CJ asked quietly, twiddling her thumbs in front of her as she leant on her elbows.

Toby shook his head, "No. Should be soon. That's not why I've gathered you, though."

CJ nodded knowingly. She snuck a glance at Sam, who was sat back on the sofa, his eyebrows almost merging into one, nearly covering his clearly bloodshot eyes.

"Now… I know we haven't had any sleep, and yesterday wasn't exactly a walk in the park…" Toby started, looking down at his desk, "but we are senior staff for the Executive branch of the United States. The country isn't going to stop for Josh, no matter how much we think it should. Leo's obviously out for the day and we haven't got Josh, so we are already stretched as it is. It's hard, but I think we should say anything we need to say now, and then get on with the day and try and take control of some of the-"

Toby was interrupted by a knock at the door. The person on the other side didn't wait for an answer, the door swinging open almost immediately, said person causing the three senior staff members to jump to their feet.

"Mr. President!"

"Sit, sit," Jed waved the three back to their seats, closing the door behind him. He leant his back on the door as he hesitated, "Abbey just called, I have some news from the hospital."

"How is he?" Sam jumped back to his feet, his hands balled into fists by his sides. Toby raised his eyebrows slightly at his urgency.

"Sam?"

Jed shot Toby a reassuring look, prompting the Communications Director to leave it for a moment. Sighing, the President turned his head back to the rest of the group.

"We got him."

Sam gaped widely at Jed, "You mean… he's back? He's breathing on his own? He's-"

"That's wonderful!" CJ cried at the President's affirmative nod.

Toby continued to watch Sam. The younger man's face was one of shock and surprise as Toby noted the now-flushing red cheeks. Sam's mouth distorted and his eyes closed as he let his head fall forward and his shoulders shake. Dropping back to the sofa, Sam broke down completely, visible tears streaming down his cheeks. CJ stopped celebrating at the reaction and she placed a comforting hand on the small of Sam's back while Toby's eyes drifted to the worried look that played across Jed's face.

"Sir?" Toby asked quietly. Jed's eyes met his, and Toby knew there was something else going on, "Sir, is there something else?"

"While I expect you know Josh isn't totally out of the woods yet…" Jed started, sensing Toby and CJ's tension in the midst of Sam's still-continuing tears, "The doctors are concerned about another problem; brain damage."

"What?" Toby asked slowly, noting the shooting up of Sam's head at the information, "What does this mean?"

"It's too early to tell," Jed continued, "It's entirely possible that the drugs could have done some lasting damage to Josh's central nervous system. So, despite him being back with us physically for the moment-"

Sam finished the sentence, "The Josh that wakes up may not be the same."

**A/N Eugh. I toiled for ages over that last section. Still hate it. Hence the delay. Hope you liked the update!**

**Please review!**


	13. Act 4 Part 1

**A/N Apologies for the delay. Bit of a block, plus holidays and CPU problems. **

**Enjoy!**

_Act 4 - Shadowplay_

"Toby, sit down."

Sam dropped his pen onto his folder irritably. He watched Toby pace around the hospital bed, one hand on his chin, the other on his hip. Donna looked up drowsily from her chair beside Josh's bed. Toby ground his teeth slowly, but silently.

"Maybe we should ask for a second opinion," he suggested.

"Toby…" Donna whined.

"No really. It's been 5 days, and nothing's happened. Who are we to say that these guys know what they're doing?" Toby's voice raised a decibel.

"Toby, there are plenty of opinions, the First Lady included," Sam insisted, trying to sound sure of himself, "They have everything under control."

"5 days, Sam."

"I know."

"And he hasn't woken up yet."

Toby's hand dropped from his chin to his other hip as he faced Sam. Sam bit the inside of his cheek lightly as he sighed.

"I know, Toby," Sam mumbled, "It's been 5 days. The doctors said it could take weeks for-"

Sam was cut off as the door burst open loudly. All three jumped as a young man, perhaps only in his mid-20s walked in carrying a file and a pen. His coat was blindingly white and his stethoscope glinted as it reflected the light of the lamps in the darkened room.

"Oh!" The young man exclaimed, "I'm sorry! Are you family?"

"Uh…"

Sam could have sworn he saw Toby's eye twitch.

"Not exactly," Toby replied with a sneer and a smile. Sam noted how remarkable it was that Toby was the only person he knew that seemed even more threatening when he smiled. Donna's mouth twitched slightly at Toby's tone, noticing the young man's ice blue eyes widen as he was intimidated.

"Right… well, uh…" the man flipped through the notes in his folder.

"I think you'll find we are authorised to be here."

"I'll just have to check that…" the young man's forehead scrunched up as he flicked further through the pages. Toby and Sam watched as his eyes widened once more and his forehead relaxed.

"See that signature?" Toby continued to sneer, "It's one you might recognise."

The man's cheeks flushed quickly as the realisation that he was looking at the President's signature hit him. He mumbled something incomprehensible before striding quickly over to the end of Josh's bed.

"…sorry," was all Sam managed to make out.

The trio watched in silence as the white coated young man flicked through, and added to the notes in the big red file at the end of Josh's bed. He noted the numbers from the array of screens littering the wall, changed Josh's IV and shone a torch into each of Josh's eyes to check for a response.

"What exactly is different from the last time you checked?" Toby asked confrontationally as Donna jumped up to move out of the way. Sam mentally sighed and leant back further into his chair.

"Uh… nothing, actually," the man blushed, "I'm on night duty, you see. I just have to keep a good record on the off chance that something does change."

"Right," Toby nodded, rubbing his eyes quickly, "Do you know who this is, kid?"

"Yes, sir. This is Josh Lyman, Deputy White House Chief of Staff. And I recognise you too, Mr. Ziegler. Same to you, Mr. Seaborn."

Sam shot a quick smile, substituting it for a greeting.

The man turned to Donna, "Although I don't recognise…"

"I'm Donna. Donna Moss," she interrupted, sitting back down in the seat by the bed, "Josh's assistant."

The man nodded, "So you see, Mr. Ziegler, I gotta make sure I'm doing my job properly! This is an important patient…obviously not more important than any other human being… but he… dammit… I've done it again."

The man was in a bit of confusion as he slapped his hand on his thigh in frustration. Toby and Sam looked on with mild amusement.

"I was top of my class at high school and university, Mr. Ziegler," he insisted, "but I'm not so hot on the ways of procedure and have had a tendency to say and do things I shouldn't. I get nervous you see…"

Toby raised an eyebrow.

"And so I went and screwed up with something and got myself a punishment of night duty on this ward."

Toby's other eyebrow raised, "Are you sure you want to be telling us this? Are you a student?"

"Heh… yeah. I'm specialising in diagnostic medicine," the young man laughed nervously at Toby's look, "It wasn't a big deal, I just mixed up a set of IV's for a couple of patients, they ended up with the wrong dosage."

Toby's face darkened. Sam's eyes drifted over to the IV attached to Josh, "You're sure you've given Josh the right one?"

Nodding vigorously, the student replied, "Oh yes! I double checked it!"

Sam picked his pen up slowly and began to chew the end of it as Toby continued pacing. The young student kept taking notes and measurements as the room remained silent. Smacking the folder together with his palm, the student turned to Sam.

"Right, that's me done," he smiled brightly, too brightly in Toby's opinion, "I'll be back in an hour. Call me if you personally notice anything different."

"How?" Toby asked incredulously, stopping the young doctor from reaching the door, "We don't know who to ask for. What's your name?"

"Heh…" the student laughed nervously again, a hand reaching for the back of his head, "My name's not important, just ask for the ranking doctor at the desk."

Sam watched with interest as Toby's face displayed a thousand expletives. The student laughed nervously some more.

"Alright, alright… I'll tell you," he took a step back, "Just don't laugh."

"We'd laugh?" Toby replied through grinding teeth.

"Most do."

"Tell us."

"Do I really have to-?"

"Now."

"Dr. Greg House."

Sam nearly burst out laughing as Toby's hand gravitated quickly to cover his face.

"Like the TV show?" Donna couldn't help but grin from her seat.

"Yeah…" Dr. House placed his hand behind his head, "It's an embarrassing coincidence."

Toby shook his head slowly, his eyes still screwed up. Motioning with his hand he mumbled, "Is that all?"

* * *

Sam watched the small electronic clock he had on the desk in Josh's room. The colon between the hour and minutes flashed every second, the lime green fluorescence lighting the darkened room.

04:09

…

…

04:10

His eyelids drooped slowly, covering his dry eyes. The trio had been sat in the room all night. Sam and Toby were supposed to be working on a Presidential address, but Toby drifted off to sleep at about 3 a.m. Sam's boss was slumped against the wall in the corner, his head hanging forwards as he breathed heavily. Sam finally succumbed to the fatigue that was hanging over him, folding his arms on the table in a makeshift pillow for his head. Shuffling in his seat slightly, he made himself comfortable.

Donna fidgeted in her uncomfortable seat beside the bed. She sat parallel to Josh, her feet up on the mattress. She was still awake, and watched with a small smile as Sam fell asleep within minutes, his light snoring syncopated with Toby's.

Yet Donna didn't feel that tired, as much as she wanted sleep. She hadn't slept much since Thursday. An hour here, an hour there. The group had been in and out of the hospital a bunch of times a day. Josh's mother wasn't so well herself, so couldn't be there 24-7. Leo had volunteered to stay with Josh when she couldn't, but the practicalities of his job meant he couldn't really stay all the time. The President had authorised them to set up a small 'office' in Josh's room, it had internet access and direct phone lines to both the White House and the hill. It meant anyone visiting could still work.

Not that Donna had much work to do. How could she without a boss? Toby and Sam had delegated some of Bonnie and Ginger's work to her to keep her occupied, although every time Leo found out she got it taken off her. Instead, the Chief of Staff insisted that she focus all of her efforts on delegating Josh's work and making sure that, when he wakes up, Josh had her support.

That's if he woke up at all.

Donna sighed and stretched her arms out in front of her. Her left arm dropped right onto Josh's hand. She flinched slightly as she felt his cool skin against her palm, but didn't remove her hand. Instead she let her fingers clasp his thumb lightly. She shuffled in her seat and laid her head back on the wall to make herself more comfortable, trying to force herself to sleep and hoping the metronomic beeping of Josh's vital machines would allow her to drift off.

_Beep_

…

_Beep_

…

_Beep_

…

**So far so good, I'll be asleep any minute now**

…

_Beep_

…

_Beep_

…

_Beep_

…

**Stop thinking to yourself, Donna, or you'll never get to sleep!**

…

_Beep_

…

_Beep_

…

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep Beep _

_Beep Beep_

_Beep Beep_

Donna's eyes snapped open as she heard the vital machine's noise quicken. She flung her legs off the bed and sat straight, leaning over Josh. His heart rate was up to 120.

"Josh!" She nearly shouted, standing slightly. On the other side of the room, she heard Toby fidget.

"Wha…?" He mumbled.

"Josh! Toby, wake up!"

Scowling, Toby rubbed his eyes and rolled his obviously painful neck round, "What's going on?"

Donna ignored his question as her eyes wandered up to Josh's face. Her mouth fell open in an instant; Josh's nose was scrunched up, his forehead crinkled like it was when he was frustrated. He was supposed to be in a coma, right?

"Toby… his face…"

Toby stood gingerly from the floor and took steps towards her, his eyes dark.

"Either he's waking up or…."

"I'll get House," Toby mumbled, striding quickly to the door, wide awake now. He stopped only to smack Sam upside the head, causing his Deputy to stir.

"Wha…?" Sam mumbled, identically to Toby.

"Come on, Josh…" Donna mumbled as she saw his heart rate rise steadily once more. She spotted beads of sweat form around his eyebrows and hairline and his mouth contorted into a slight grimace. He looked in pain. Without noticing, Donna began making circles with her thumb on the back of Josh's hand, ignoring the tirade of questions from Sam.

Then it happened.

It caught her off guard at first. So much so she nearly jumped out of her skin, letting out a small gasp.

Josh squeezed her hand.

"Sam!" Donna exclaimed to Sam across the bed, "He squeezed my hand!"

Sam's eyes widened, looking well and truly awake, "Are you sure?"

Donna tried to pull her hand away slowly, Josh's arm rising from the bed as he gripped tightly. That was enough evidence for Sam.

"Oh my god…" he mumbled, "What do you think this means?"

Feeling a lump in her throat form, her eyes drifted back up to Josh's face. Small droplets of liquid had formed at the corner of Josh's eyes.

"He's in pain."

Sam gulped, placing his hand on Josh's knee in a vain gesture of support just as the door burst open.

"Come on!" Toby insisted, holding the door open to young Dr. House.

"We think he's in pain," Sam told the doctor, stepping out of the way. House checked Josh's vitals and watched his expression. He nodded.

"I'll increase his morphine."

Using a small key, House opened the box attached to Josh's IV. He pressed a '+' button a couple of times before locking the box again and watching Josh's expression hopefully.

It didn't change.

"It's not working! Can't you give him more?" Toby exclaimed, his face reddening.

"He's at the maximum, it's not having an effect. This happens sometimes!" Dr. House defended himself, "Josh overdosed on pain medication, it's not uncommon for morphine to not have the desired effect immediately with all the damage to his protein receptors!"

"So what do we do?" Sam asked quietly.

Sighing, the doctor turned round, "There's nothing we can do. I can only hope this is a cause to be hopeful in that there may be some receptor regeneration."

"He squeezed my hand," Donna blurted desperately at the doctor, who turned to face her.

"Is he still squeezing it?" the doctor asked, surprised. Donna nodded and lifted her hand again, bringing Josh's with her, demonstrating in the same way she had done with Sam.

The doctor's eyebrows shot up. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small torch. Lifting Josh's now-sweaty eyelids, he shone the light into Josh's pupils.

"I was wrong," he said, "His pupils are reacting. He's coming back."

"He's waking up!?" Toby asked, receiving a nod from the doctor.

"Yes, but he's in a lot of pain," the doctor bit his lip and looked at Donna, "Keep hold of his hand, no doubt he needs it as this may take some time. I need to ring in my boss."

With that the doctor left the room.

* * *

It had been half an hour.

Donna was sat on the corner of Josh's bed, both hands gripping his now. Sam was stood at the end of the bed, his knuckles white as he clutched the metal railings. Toby was pacing, his hand scratching his beard lightly.

Josh was still sweating. More so now, evident by the small patches forming on his clothes under his armpits and around his chest. His face was still screwed up and his nails dug into Donna's hand.

All three sets of eyes looked up as the door burst open. A bedraggled Leo, unusually wearing jeans and a hoody, slammed the door behind him, looking red and flustered.

"What's going on? I came here as fast as I could."

"The doctor on duty is waking his superior. He's on his way," Toby answered quietly, "Have you spoken to the President?"

Leo nodded, breathing heavily, "He and the First Lady are coming. Josh's mother will be here soon, too."

Toby nodded and continued pacing as Leo took up a spot on Josh's other side. His face crinkled and he shook his head, pulling a small handkerchief out of the pocket of the ice blue hoody he was wearing before wiping away the sweat around Josh's eyebrows.

Josh reacted to the contact and made a small groaning sound.

"Josh?" Leo asked, pulling the handkerchief away and leaning closer, "Can you hear me?"

Even Toby had stopped pacing and joined Sam at the end of the bed. All four called out to Josh and Donna squeezed his hand tighter.

Finally, the muscles around Josh's eyes twitched and his eyelids began to rise. His bloodshot eyes were covered by his blinking eyelids for a few seconds, but eventually they began drifting around the room.

"Josh?!" Leo called.

"Where the bloody hell is House…?" Toby mumbled as he sprinted out of the door to find the missing doctor.

Josh's head squirmed slightly as his face remained scrunched. He grimaced and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, before flicking them back open. They darted around the room to each pair of watching eyes. Suddenly and viciously, Josh pulled his hand away from Donna's.

"Josh?" She asked.

Josh pulled his sheets up to his neck and clutched them with both hands under his chin. He laid is head back as he grimaced momentarily in obvious pain before glancing once more around the room.

"Wha…?"

"He spoke!" Sam explained, just as Toby and the doctor strode through the door.

"Josh?" Leo leaned a little closer, "It's alright, you're in a hospital."

"Who…?" Josh's eyes drifted to Leo's. He instinctively shuffled his body away from Leo slightly, flinching at the pain of movement.

"It's just me, Josh. It's Leo."

The group stood in a hushed silence waiting for Josh's answer.

"Who are you?" He whispered.


	14. Act 4 Part 2

**A/N Epic delay. Can only apologise. Just finished rewatching the show again so back in WW state of obsession! Gonna try and revive this story while I have a little time.**

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* * *

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"The President appreciates that it's a good cause, but he's not going to get it in Appropriations."

"Due respect, you clearly underestimate the support this is getting from the Congressman's home and surrounding districts..."

"It's not gonna make it."

"Look, I know you guys are down in the polls, and the possibility of a Senate hearing of some variety is looming precariously over your heads, but we could do with a little help here. The Congressman feels very passionately about this issue."

"He's been there 4 months."

"I know, but-"

"4 months. Come back in 20 years and Congressman Golding may actually have a chance of getting something fresh in the bill."

"All it takes is a little push, just one high level staffer. Perhaps someone like Josh..."

Toby's stare shot straight up from the small doodle he was drawing in the corner of his notes into the eyes of the young staffer. The staffer stopped suddenly, realising what he had just said and began to stammer what sounded to be some kind of apology.

"Toby, I-"

"Are you an idiot?"

"Excuse me?"

Toby sat up in his seat, throwing his pen on the open folder in front of him.

"Are... you... an... idiot?" He reiterated slowly, almost mockingly.

"Toby it was just a slip, I apologise."

Toby bit the inside of his lower lip for a second as he glared at the young staffer. In a swift movement he stood quickly and waved his hand dismissively. He stormed towards the doors exiting the Roosevelt room, turning his head back as he was in the doorway.

"Meeting's over, he won't get it. We'll see what we can do next time."

Sam jumped as the weak window separating him and his boss's office clanged. He pulled his glasses off his nose and stood from the pile of drafts from his speechwriting staff, none of which were good enough in the current state of 'let's kick the fumbling, flailing Bartlet administration while they're down'. He glanced through the joining window to see Toby throw his folder on his desk and drop unceremoniously into his chair. Stepping out of his office slowly, Sam glanced semi-apologetically, semi-bemused at a startled Ginger before opening the adjacent door.

"Toby."

Toby was hunched forward over his knees, his hands on his forehead. He didn't move as Sam addressed him, so the Deputy stepped into the office and shut the door.

"Toby, what's up?"

"I can't do this, Sam."

"What? You didn't give it to him did you?" Sam pointed over his shoulder, "I can go back. Talk him down if you didn't manage to."

"That little weasel mentioned Josh," Toby's voice rumbled slightly as he rubbed his hands over his eyes, "It's everywhere. His… thing is everywhere. The MS thing is everywhere. We're on a sinking ship, Sam. The President is going down. Josh is… well, you know. We're surrounded. Even our own people are causing us problems. I just don't know if I can deal with this anymore."

Sam sat down opposite his boss's desk, "Things will get better, Toby."

"Is that all you have to say?"

Sam bit the inside of his lip. He didn't know what else he could say. Toby was the one that, throughout this mess, was always thinking about the administration. In those late nights over the last 10 days or so, Toby was the one who was always there when he couldn't sleep, sat in the corner of a hospital waiting room, scribbling away on some draft or chewing on the end of a biro. Without saying anything, he supported Sam like an older brother.

And now how does he reciprocate that support?

"Look, we just need to keep things moving. The Congressional hearings are bound to start soon, so we've gotta start thinking about our message throughout the proceedings, as well as looking forward to the re-election campaign. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this isn't a sinking ship. Not yet."

"And what about Josh?"

Sam felt his heart sink slightly, "… there's not much we can do right now. Just see if he comes back around."

Toby sighed and ran his hands over his chin, "You know we can't win re-election without Josh."

"Yeah.."

* * *

"Leo?"

"Hm-?"

Leo looked up from his newspaper and pulled his glasses off, letting his crossed leg fall to the tiled floor.

"Kathy…" Leo stood from the plastic hospital chair and dropped his newspaper behind him. He stepped towards Kath and rubbed the outside of her arms with his hands, "How are you doing?"

The ageing woman smiled weakly, "Good, I guess. Why are you waiting out here?"

"I… uh, I didn't know who was in there or anything, so I thought I'd have a wait out here and see what the situation was."

"You were reading the newspaper."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I was."

Kath smiled, "He's remembering, Leo."

"You sure about that?"

"He remembered your name yesterday didn't he?"

"Yeah, but that's only because I've been back every five minutes reminding him."

"Well that's a start."

The corner of Leo's mouth twitched slightly, "Where are you off to?"

"I'm going to get some food. It's been a while and Josh is craving something sugary again. He's not eating whatever the nurses have been giving him."

"Looks like he still is the same person, huh?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

"Josh?"

Josh looked up from where he was sat up in his bed over to the door. Leo's head poked round it as he rapped quietly on the outside.

"Leo," Josh smiled (Leo believed just to be polite), "Come in, you don't have to knock."

"Alright."

Shutting the door carefully Leo entered the room and sat at the chair positioned by Josh's bed. His deputy looked a lot better than when he woke up 6 days ago. He was breathing and functioning fully by himself and was only on a cocktail of excitatory drugs. Josh's problem was a mental one. He'd forgotten a lot and would struggle to stand and walk without dizziness. The doctors said they would keep him in for perhaps a week until they were sure that he could look after himself.

"So.. How are you feeling?" Leo asked.

"Good." Josh replied, "I mean, I still have trouble on my feet and stuff but the doctors have said that should improve over the next few days so-"

"Good." Leo smiled back.

The pair sat in silence for a few seconds, the dull sound of some generic soap opera emanating quietly from a dodgy looking TV hanging from the wall.

"What are you watching?"

"Uh… I don't know," Josh replied, pretty meekly, "Some daytime show, I dunno."

"Right," Leo looked at his feet for a second, "How's the- I mean have you remembered much else?"

Josh grimaced slightly and rubbed his eyes, "Bits I guess."

Leo could tell he was avoiding the question. He could feel a large lump form in his throat again. This wasn't Josh, "Do you remember what happened?"

"I know what I was told, Leo, I had an overdose of pain pills. Must have accidentally taken too many or something," Josh replied, wringing his hospital sheets, "What do you want from me?"

Slightly taken aback, Leo sat back on his chair, "I'm sorry, Josh, you're right. I'm being unfair, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I didn't mean it like that."

Josh brought a fist up to the bridge of his nose and grimaced, squeezing his eyes together.

"You okay?"

"Cracking headache," he blinked quickly a few times, "Hey, where's mom gotten to anyway?"

"She went to get food. She said you wanted something sugary?"

"Oh yeah, now I remember," Josh's hand fell back to his side, "Damn right I need something sugary!"

"You should be eating what the doctors ordered you to, Josh," Leo reprimanded.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what mom said," Josh replied, "My argument was that they _give _me sugary stuff with my meals, it's just that it tastes like crap."

"Fair point," Leo shrugged.

"Hey, Leo.." Josh started.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know when Joanie is getting here?"

Leo couldn't help but let his mouth fall open slightly. He stuttered for a few seconds in disbelief before the door burst open and in came two doctors.

"Oh, I'm not disturbing anything am I?" The older one asked.

"Not at all, doctor," Josh answered.

"How are you feeling, Joshua?"

"Not too bad, cracking headache though."

"That's to be expected."

"Right…"

The doctors surrounded Josh, began taking blood pressures and checking pupil reactions etc. Leo pushed himself up from the chair and pointed over his shoulder at the door.

"Josh, I'm gonna go back to the office. Look after yourself?" Leo's voice croaked across the mini-commotion.

"Will do, Leo." Josh replied, awkwardly lifting his arm for the younger doctor.

* * *

He strode straight through the communication bullpen.

Straight through the empty Roosevelt Room.

Straight past Margaret into his office.

Almost slamming the door behind him, Leo leant on the back of it, placing his head against the cold wood. He was sweating, although he wasn't sure why.

That was a lie.

He knew exactly why.

A kind of patchy haze had covered his vision; purple and blue blotches limited his eyesight. Stepping slowly over to a small cabinet in the corner of his office, he knelt down and prized the stiff door open. Brushing past a folder, some random pieces of stationary and a broken stapler, he pulled out a small white bag.

Carrying it like a baby, Leo stepped, almost in a trance, to the seat behind his desk. Be placed the bag on the desk with a clunk and stared at it for a little while.

He pulled the bag back, revealing a dusty old bottle of Middleton Irish Whiskey.

Slowly, Leo slid a mug over from by his telephone and unscrewed the bottle. He felt the satisfying crack that came with breaking the seal on the lid and heard the even more gratifying sound of whisky pouring into the mug with the seal of the President on it.

He wasn't even sure why he had the bottle in there. It was a (badly researched) present from some intern or something from some time ago. Leo always knew it was there but never felt the need to drink it. Perhaps it was being in his office, right next to the Oval, that prevented him from doing so. Just by having that temptation strengthened him, in a weird way.

Picking up the mug, he brought it to his nose. The smell. Oh the smell. He could feel his fingers trembling as every ounce of him told him to stop. His shaking fingers gripped the mug so tightly that he thought he could break it if he tried a bit harder.

Two voices came to his head. One was his grandfather, back in his small house outside Chicago when Leo was a child, in a thick Country Cork accent he used to tell him and his cousins, "The reason God created whiskey was so the Irish would not rule the world."

It was almost funny, his grandfather's old Irish parable was true. Here he was, without whiskey for 7 years and he was helping to run the free world.

The second was that of his deputy only half an hour before. He could feel the cold of the ceramic on his bottom lip now.

"Do you know when Joanie is getting here?"


End file.
